Cradled with love: N.L. mother raises money to help other grieving families

A Newfoundland woman's labour of love has finally become a reality, providing something new for families who've experienced early infant loss.

Kelsey Vincent of Triton raised money for a piece of equipment called a "caring cradle," which was just purchased by the South and Central Health Foundation for the hospital in Grand Falls-Windsor.

Vincent and her husband had a baby girl, named Sage, stillborn in 2019. Raising money for something to help families like hers has enabled her to honour her daughter's memory, she said, and that in turn is comforting to her.

"I find sharing about Sage gives me a place and time where she exists again. Even though she's not tangibly here to hold, she still existed, she was still a person, and she will always be my daughter," said Vincent.

Time to grieve

Vincent says she and her husband had some time with their late daughter after she was delivered, and they were grateful for it.

"The 11 hours that we had, we took pictures, created some memories, as many as we could in the time that we were given," said Vincent.

But Vincent said their infant's body started to go through post-mortem changes, so they had to part with her sooner than they would have liked.

That's where the idea came from to research and fundraise for something that would help other families.

Vincent learned about equipment that would cool a deceased baby's body to prevent it from deteriorating.

"It's supposed to give families a little bit more time than they normally would get with their loved one," said Vincent.

So she went to work, by starting a GoFundMe campaign that raised more than $1,100, by hand-delivering letters to local businesses asking for monetary donations as well as gift cards, which were raffled off.

All told, she says, she raised more than $4,800 to cover the piece of equipment she was originally looking at, called a "cuddle cot." The caring cradle bought instead by the South and Central Health Foundation cost about $10,000, and Vincent is grateful to the foundation for covering the rest and making her goal a reality.

Name lives on

The new caring cradle at the Central Newfoundland Regional Health Centre in Grand Falls-Windsor has a special nameplate so that everyone will know the story behind it.

The nameplate on the side of the cradle says it was donated "In Loving Memory of Sage Holly Berlyn Vincent."

Vincent hopes it will bring some comfort to other families to be reminded that others have gone through the same kind of loss.

"Sometimes, when you go through stuff, you're thinking, 'I'm the only person in the world that's going through this right now,'" said Vincent.

"We wanted to let them know that there's people that's been in your position. It's hard, but you're not the only one to walk this road. I want people to know that, even though it's a very hard time right now, hopefully this gift of extra time is something that they can cherish for years to come," she said.

Acknowledging the loss

Vincent said another reason it's important to her to talk about her experience with having a stillborn baby is that, years ago and still today, early infant loss a taboo subject to talk about.

She said she's been contacted by people who've shared with her about losing a baby decades ago but who say they didn't feel able to talk about it before.

"Back then, it was hush-hush," said Vincent.

"You shouldn't have to feel like talking about someone you love is uncomfortable," she said.

Vincent and her husband now also have a 16-month-old daughter named Gwendolyn and they are expecting a baby boy in May.

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