'Pray that they find the other two': Ryan's Commander sister shares Shea Heights grief

As Shea Heights puts two men to rest after a fishing accident and the search continues for two others, one Bonavista woman is reaching out with advice.

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With the 12-year anniversary of her brothers' deaths approaching, Johanna Ryan Guy looked to Shea Heights and felt the crushing loss all over again.

"It's not so much what went through my mind as what went through my heart," she said. "It brings you right to your knees."

'Nothing makes sense anymore'

On Sept. 19, 2004, her two brothers, David and Joseph Ryan, died off Cape Bonavista. Their ship, Ryan's Commander, capsized in rough seas on its way home to St. Brendan's from Bay de Verde. Four other men survived.

Last week, when the Pop's Pride sank off Cape Spear with four men onboard, Ryan Guy was thrown back to a familiar feeling.

"The darlings don't even know what hit them," she said of the family members in Shea Heights. "It's dark days. It's like an empty daze. Nothing makes sense anymore. It's like your whole life bubble gets burst in one second."

The body of one of Ryan Guy's brothers, David, was recovered hours after his boat sank.  It took five days for the body of a second brother, Joseph, who wasn't wearing a Life Jacket, to wash ashore.

"Mercifully, he got to shore somehow, by the faith of God," Ryan Guy said.

A 'new normal' is possible

Their deaths left a void in the family, and in the small village of St. Brendan's — a town of less than 150 people on Cottel's Island in Bonavista Bay.

Through her faith and her family, Ryan Guy managed to reach a point of mixed acceptance.

"Time doesn't heal," she said. "It simply allows us to learn a new normal that's not normal. It's never normal."

There will always be a divide, she said. When recalling memories, everything is referred to as either before or after the accident.

A funeral service was held for Billy Humby, 37, in Shea Heights on Saturday. Keith Walsh Jr., 18, will be buried on Tuesday. Walsh's father, Keith Walsh Sr. and grandfather, Eugene Walsh, are still missing.

Ryan Guy cautioned the Shea Heights families to avoid speaking publicly, to choose one person to handle the media inquiries and not to hang on every word from news sources.

Watching the coverage was torturous for her own family, she said.

"Everyone means so well, but that is just like somebody takes a knife and stabs it in you, again and again and again."

As the search moves into its second week, Ryan Guy is watching with the same mixed feeling of hope and despair she felt for her brother, Joseph, 12 years ago.

"Pray that they find the other two, for the family's sake."