Modern love: For a modern-day walk down the aisle, anything goes
From a Halloween theme to intimate elopements, couples can choose their perfect wedding
For a wedding ceremony in 2015, it seems, all you need is love.
Everything else is up to the imagination.
"I feel like anything goes," says Corner Brook-based marriage commissioner Jacqueline Carey.
"I've done everything from secret elopements, to weddings with 250 people, to weddings in more traditional locations, like a park or a back garden, to hiking into the Tablelands — you name it."
For Carey, the connecting thread through this diversity is the couple themselves. That might sound like stating the obvious, but Carey notes that traditional ceremonies can tend to lean heavily on ritual, and less on the individuals at the heart of it.
That's why Carey doesn't settle to just make each wedding legal. She talks to the couple, their parents and their friends, tailoring the ceremony to reflect their personalities and relationship.
"Sometimes if people talk about their favourite movie, or TV show, or book — even if it's obscure or something you wouldn't expect — I do research, and I'll go and find maybe a quote on love from Orange Is The New Black [or somewhere] maybe where you wouldn't expect to find it from."
Your true colours are shining through
One unexpected wedding stands out as one of Carey's favourites. A moonlit night in the wilderness illuminates Carey's memory.
She's spent years as an organizer with Camp Eclipse, a summer retreat for LGBTQ youth and their friends.
Two dear friends of Carey's, who double as Camp Eclipse counsellors, decided there was no better place to tie the knot than in the accepting space they had helped create.
With home-made lanterns strung throughout the trees, the couple made their vows — a moment Carey says she, and the campers, will never forget.
"It was really important to [the campers] to see a couple of the same sex getting married, and celebrated," Carey said.
"Even though things are changing, and times are moving forward, a lot of kids didn't think that was possible for them. So this couple, who were mentors and leaders at camp, decided to share that with the campers"
After tying the knot, the campers broke out into song, serenading their counsellors with Cyndi Lauper's unofficial LGBT-rights anthem True Colours.
"It was important on a lot of levels" Carey remembers. She herself decided to become a marriage commissioner after Canada legalized same-sex marriage in 2005.
Zombie brides, a witch's cloak
"I'm doing a Halloween wedding this year" said Carey, noting that Oct. 31 conveniently falls on a Saturday this year.
"I'm really excited. It's cool. The guests are coming in costume."
Carey herself plans on dusting off a witch's cloak to officiate in.
The Corner Brook event promises to break the wedding-ceremony mold.
The lead singer of 1990s punk band The Misfits is flying in to perform, and the couple plan to get their wedding bands tattooed.
The wedding pictures will take place in Corner Brook's creepiest graveyard, and attendees will sign a guitar instead of a plain old guestbook.
And while Carey says everyone involved is on board for the Halloween bash, she understands breaking with tradition isn't everyone's cup of tea.
Keeping Nan happy
Part of your big day often means pleasing other people.
"I've had a few people say, 'My Nanny is really Catholic. And she's a little bit upset with us getting married under a tree,'" Carey told the Corner Brook Morning Show.
If your Nan loves a certain psalm, Carey suggests inviting her or someone else to read a passage. That way, the ceremony becomes inclusive of not just the couple, but the new extended family the marriage creates.
For Carey, inclusion and acceptance are the real keys to a modern ceremony.
"I think there's definitely still space for a traditional church wedding, if that's what folks what. But I think there's space for other people."
With three years of officiating under her belt, Carey has no plans to give it up.
"I love being surrounded by love," she said.
"Getting to know a couple, and their family, and building a wedding ceremony, and being part of their love story. It's humbling. It's really a blessing to me."
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