Moncton widows create community for people who lose partners

Two Moncton women have started an organization to help men and women in their city whose partners have died.

Christelle Léger, whose husband died five years ago, got the idea after attending a Soaring Spirits International meeting in Fredericton, where she used to live.

"When I came back [to Moncton] I found it even harder to deal with this,"she said of her loss.

Then she met Nadine Larche and shared her thoughts about a local chapter of Soaring Spirits. Larche, whose husband died in 2014, immediately jumped at the idea.

"We connected and chatted, and she told me about this idea and I was definitely onboard," Larche said.

'They just get it'

Larche said it's helpful to be around people whose partners have died because each person understands what the others are going through.

"They just get it, which is cool," Larche said. "A lot of our friends, while they're very supportive and amazing, there's some things they just don't get."

Both Léger and Larche have children. Léger said raising a child after the death of a partner is different from the experience other single parents go through.

"Some of my friends were separated or divorced, so they can understand the solo parenting thing," Léger said. "But they usually have a partner who shares [the] responsibility for the kids."

Larche said a lot of adjustment is required when a spouse dies, and it includes everyday issues.

"Some of the hard things I had to learn was how to operate a snow blower, just like the simple things that I took for granted that my husband did," she said.

'It gets better'

The Moncton chapter doesn't offer group counselling, and there are no mental health professionals, but Léger said the fellowship helps.

"We're not counsellors," Léger said. "We just want to get people together. That is therapeutic in itself."

If she could say one thing to someone whose partner has died, Larche said, it would be that it gets better.

"It's so dark the first year, for me anyways," she said. "It was very dark the first year, and some people say even the second year ... but there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel."