'I believe you': Students learn how to respond to sexual assault disclosures

Student leaders at St. Thomas University are taking proactive steps to help their peers better support and respond to friends who reveal they've been sexually assaulted.

With the help of the Fredericton Sexual Assault Centre, the Students' Union has hosted five-hour training sessions for each of the last three semesters. The sessions are designed to dispel misconceptions around sexual assault and to teach students how to respond appropriately when someone discloses they were assaulted.

"A lot of time when students are struggling, they go to friends first, instead of seeking out resources," said Wasiimah Joomun, vice-president student life and one of the session organizers.

"A lot of times those friends are like 'I don't know how to support that, and I don't know if what I'm saying is right or not.'"

'I believe you'

Andie Marks of the sexual assault centre facilitated Friday's session, attended by more than 80 people.

Marks said the session was divided into two parts: the first examining the definition of sexual violence and some of its societal impacts, as well as the myths and stereotypes.

The second half provided guidance on what to do when someone reveals they've been sexually assaulted.

Marks said the first thing to keep in mind is to be non-judgmental.

"The phrase 'I believe you' holds so much weight," she said. 

"Often survivors do get that sense that they're not believed, or that society doesn't believe that this has happened. So showing that you are a non-judgmental person that believes them is really, really important."

Often survivors do get that sense that they're not believed … so showing that you are a non-judgmental person that believes them is really, really important.- Andie Marks, community facilitator at the Fredericton Sexual Assault Centre.

Next, Marks suggested asking the survivor what they need, but without pressure to take any action. 

"For some people [support] might look like going to legal folks, or it might be talking to somebody else," she said. "Maybe for them they're just like 'I've needed to tell somebody, I just needed somebody else to know, and I don't really want to go forward with that.'"

Disclosure fatigue

As a residence adviser, Joomun has had a few people come to her with disclosures of sexual assault.

While it's important to ensure that you don't re-traumatize or make things worse for the person who's disclosing, she said it's just as important to ensure that you aren't being harmed by supporting that person.

If she feels that someone's trauma is affecting her own mental health, Joomun is quick to talk to the campus sexual assault support advocate, or with a school counsellor.

"I've had a lot of situation with students who are close to me and now they are doing so much better," she said. "Just knowing that we also have access to those resources where we can reach out to those resources at any time."

Surprising turnout

There were 88 people registered for Friday's training course. Joomun said the number was surprising, as she didn't do much outreach and advertising this year.

She said she was expecting mostly student leaders, or residence advisers who already have some type of training, but this time around there were more people from the general student population.

"Whenever they have a friend, or they know someone who is struggling with those things, they can at least know how to refer them to the appropriate resources," she said.

"The session is not about intervening. It's about knowing what the words you're saying, how to act when someone discloses to you, and how to refer them to resources."