5 questions answered about the LGBTQ school policy debate
Pediatrician, psychologist address issues raised by parents about controversial Policy 713
The balancing of parental notification and the safety of LGBTQ children has been a controversial topic in New Brunswick lately.
The government's changes to Policy 713, the education policy on gender identity, now make it mandatory to get parental consent before using a child under 16's chosen name and pronoun —even verbally — in class, according to Education Minister Bill Hogan.
And if a child says no to involving their parents, Hogan said they should be directed to a school psychologist or social worker to come up with a plan to do so.
School psychologists as well as child welfare, education and human rights experts have all come out against these changes. The New Brunswick Association of School Psychologists said refusing a child's request, unless a parent agrees, will hurt children, and increase the risk of suicide and self harm.
CBC News has spoken to a pediatrician and a psychologist about concerns raised by some parents who were interviewed while Policy 713 was under review.
1. How does making it mandatory to tell parents about pronoun and name changes hurt children?
If it's mandatory to tell all parents about pronoun and name changes, then it wouldn't be possible to protect the child who doesn't have an accepting family, according to New Brunswick's child and youth advocate Kelly Lamrock.
For some children, telling their parents is not always the safest option.
According to a 2019 survey of Atlantic Canadian trans and non-binary youth, done by the Stigma and Resilience Among Vulnerable Youth Centre based at the University of British Columbia, 22 per cent of those who responded said they had run away from home, 30 per cent of respondents said they had attempted suicide in the past year, and 57 per cent said they had experienced discrimination based on their sex.
The New Brunswick Association of School Psychologists says ignoring a child's request to use different pronouns "increases risk of self-harm, suicidal ideation and other mental health concerns."
Lamrock said making it mandatory to tell all parents is not worth the risk a child would be kicked out, abused or sent to conversion therapy as a result.
Lamrock said it's possible to address this concern in the policy without putting vulnerable children at risk. For example, he said, a line could have been added to the old policy, saying something like, if a child says no to involving parents, the school will offer support to bridge the gap.
2. My child's teacher calls me if they are falling behind in class. Why shouldn't the teacher also mention pronoun changes?
Teachers are obligated to call parents when there's something wrong, said Shane Kelbaugh, a high school teacher in Anglophone South School District.
So if there are concerns about their safety, if they express self-harm, if they're skipping class or acting out, it's essential that parents are included, he said.
But Kelbaugh said forcing teachers to go to the parents when the child is just trying on a new pronoun is not consistent with any rules teachers have to follow for the best interest of children.
And Fredericton-based psychologist Amy Otteson says asking for a different pronoun does not automatically mean something is wrong with the child.
"They try to figure out who they are as a person and that's a natural process. That's a natural developmental process."
In fact, being transgender is not a mental illness, according to the federal Canadian Institutes of Health Research. The psychological struggle doesn't come from being trans, it comes from "experiences of transphobia and discrimination," the institute says.
"In situations where there is a concern that does affect them, yeah, we are calling home about that," Kelbaugh said. "I think to automatically say that trans identity is negatively impacting someone's well-being is unfair to them and discriminatory."
3. What if my child is just being influenced by their friends and shouldn't actually change their pronoun?
Otteson said there is no evidence that kids are transitioning because it's a fad or trend. Trans people have existed at every point of human history.
"It doesn't matter what you reinforce or don't reinforce," she said. "People will continue to explore these things."
An increase in the number of trans and non-binary kids has only been linked to an increase in social acceptance and a reduction of abuse and bullying from peers.
Otteson said even if a child isn't trans and asks to use a different pronoun, there is no real harm in that. They would realize that this wasn't the right pronoun for them and move on, and using a chosen pronoun would help some kids realize that they are not trans.
In the past, the treatment for children questioning their gender involved trying to persuade them to accept the gender they were assigned at birth.
Otteson said this is conversion therapy and it doesn't work.
"Quite frankly, not only was it harmful to those youth, but it wasn't effective."
4. Can my child's use of a pronoun lead them to make a more permanent decision, such as gender-affirming surgery, that they might later regret ?
In New Brunswick, a person has to be 18 years old to get gender-affirming surgery.
Dr. Marc Nicholson, a New Brunswick pediatrician who sees transgender kids, said any medical treatment for children requires permission from a parent or guardian.
There are exceptions for older teens who are deemed mature enough to make those decisions, but the exceptions are only granted by medical professionals.
He said some kids are perfectly happy with a different pronoun but no hormone replacement. Others would experience great mental anguish living as the gender they were assigned at birth, he said, and those are the people who are diagnosed with gender dysphoria and may need hormone therapy.
Nicholson said before a child or teenager gets a consultation with his office, they will first have to see a psychologist who is certified in recognizing whether they actually need medical intervention for gender dysphoria.
Other issues have to be ruled out, Nicholson said, and three things have to be proven: the child has to be insistent that they don't feel right with their assigned gender, that this discomfort is persistent and that their chosen identity is consistent over a period of time.
He said the vast majority of kids he sees who pass all these safeguards, with parental involvement and acceptance, are happier and healthier once they receive gender-affirming treatment.
"I don't say this to be alarmist, but this is suicide prevention," he said.
"The parents will tell you ... something along the lines of 'I got a whole new kid here,' or 'I got my kid back because they're not barricaded in their room.' They're more engaged with the family. And the smiles on some of these young people's faces now that we're not wearing masks in clinic, it's beautiful to see."
As for regret, some youth and adults do end up stopping hormone therapy, and figures show that's between one and 10 per cent of all trans people.
Of those people, a study at the U.S. National Library of Medicine says the majority detransitioned because they weren't accepted at home, work or school, and not because they regretted it. Between one and two per cent detransitioned because hormones weren't right for them, and even fewer actually regretted taking hormones at all.
According to another study at the Library of Medicine, the biggest contributors to the risk of suicide for trans youth are "school belonging, emotional neglect by family, and internalized self-stigma," not regret of transitioning.
5. If the teacher won't tell me, how else will I know?
Psychologist Otteson said there is no typical way for a child to come out as trans. Some of them come out only to their parents, and not to the outside world. Some tell just their friends, or an aunt, or a cousin, or a teacher first.
She said parents will find out eventually, when their child is ready to tell them.
"Coming out to parents is part of the process of transitioning, so you can't hide who you are forever. Like, they will eventually come out when they feel ready to come out to you."
Otteson said forcing the conversation before the child is ready could actually damage the relationship much more than a delay in sharing that information.
"That's a question that I may ask a parent, 'Would you rather have a relationship with your child, or not? Because this is going to cause a wedge between you, and and it's going damage the relationship that you have.'"
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