Mothering in a new world

On the last Sunday of every month, Charity Okposio, her husband Roland and their children, David, 15, and Catherine, 12, don bright outfits and head to Winners Chapel in Moncton.

The traditional Nigerian clothing is not only eye-catching, it represents a connection to the way of life the family left behind.

"Ankara material is a type of fabric, very colourful," Okposio said. "We make them wear it so they can still identify with our culture."

Okposio is representative of many immigrant mothers who struggle to keep their culture alive with their children. These mothers often find themselves swimming against the strong tide of the western way of life. They rely on the foods, clothing and cultural celebrations of their homelands to keep the ties strong.

When the family came to Moncton six years ago, the snowy winters, different education system and Canadian social norms took some time to get used to. In Nigeria, Okposio said, how people greet one another is an important part of the culture. 

She still encourages her children to follow how it's done in Nigeria, even when they are speaking English.  

"We tell them you can greet your friends with 'Hi'," she said. "But an elderly person, you should greet with 'Good morning, ma'am,' or Good morning, sir'."

When it comes to protecting culture in families, mothers like Okposio, find themselves on the front lines.

They're the ones who most often prepare food and purchase children's clothing as well as organize family events and celebrations. They're trying to strike a balance between encouraging their children to fit into the Canadian way of life and keeping homeland traditions. 

Couscous for lunch

One of the easiest ways for Asma El Idrissi to keep her children connected to their homeland is through food. The single mother of two arrived in New Brunswick from Morocco in 2018.

Every Friday, she cooks Moroccan food for her family to enjoy throughout the week. That includes packing some favourites in her twins' lunches.

"Especially couscous, we eat it every Friday and so I try to keep that tradition," she said. "The way we cook the meat, also the mix between salt and sweet flavours is a Moroccan thing, so I try to put our Moroccan touch in the lunchbox of my kids." 

Creating Community

When Ibtissam Farhani listens to her children sing the words to a song by a popular Tunisian artist she is filled with pride.

She, her husband Houssam, daughter Cyrine, 8, and son Wissam, 5, arrived in Moncton last August. The family hails from Tunisia but came to Canada after living in Qatar, where both children were born. 

One strong connection to their homeland is religion. They are practising Muslims, so finding a community at the mosque in Moncton has helped them to connect with their culture.

Friday is the holy day for Muslims. When the family lived in Qatar, they would venture to the mosque on Friday. In New Brunswick, they've had to be creative when it comes to maintaining a similar routine. 

"Friday we went to the mosque because it was a day off in the school," Farhani said. "Whenever it's a day off on a Friday, they go to the mosque." 

The family also eats halal meat, which is meat that conforms to religious dietary rules. This includes foods that use animal by-products such as cookies and marshmallows. It's not something the family needed to think about before coming to Canada.

Farhani said the children now are aware about what they can and can't eat while attending birthday parties or visiting friends.

"It's very challenging," she said. "We will have a soccer event in the park and they will know what to eat. If they hesitate, they will ask. Cyrine, for example, she can read the ingredients and she can see it." 

Connecting across the miles

As the culture keepers in their families, the mothers agree that one of the saving graces for them is technology. Platforms like Facebook, WhatsApp and YouTube have made their jobs much easier. Farhani's children maintain the Arabic language through an online learning website. 

El Idrissi and her twins have weekly calls with family back in Morocco.

Okposio, regular video gatherings with their large family in Nigeria help her children to stay connected with their many cousins.  

Another common theme these mothers expressed is the loneliness they sometimes feel when raising their children, especially when they don't have extended family near to help out. 

For Nigerian women in Canada who are soon to be mothers, Okposio said her community of women come together to give them a taste of home. The women make pepper soup, a traditional remedy given to new mothers. 

"We have a group of women and we try and cook food for them," she said. "You can do it with fish, chicken, meat and prepare it with some special spices. After delivery, for a few weeks we believe that's what you need to take for your body to readjust."