Q&A: Misty MacFarland lives on streets, pushing her belongings in a shopping cart

Misty MacFarland, a 37-year-old woman originally from Edmonton, has lived on the streets of Moncton for three years. The mother of three, whose children live with their father, prefers sleeping outside to a shelter and keeps all of her belongings in a shopping cart.

How did you go from having a place to live to not having a place to live?

I got post traumatic stress disorder when someone very close to me committed suicide. It all was too much for me I guess and I got sick. [Around the same time] my landlord stopped paying his mortgage and the bank took the house. I had no coping skills whatsoever, and simple things like making phone calls were practically impossible. I'd go in person [to look at apartments] and they'd confuse me with a drug addict and wouldn't rent to me. I just didn't have anybody who was willing to do simple things like make the phone calls and come with me to appointments to … explain my condition.

Provincial government has no plan for homeless despite millions in federal funding

6 years ago

Duration 1:37

Provincial government has no apparent plan for helping the homeless, despite millions in federal funding

What's an average day like?

I'm an insomniac, so I don't sleep every day but I do sleep, a lot more than before I became homeless, [because] I'm so tired. Being homeless is extremely hard on the body and can be very heavy on the heart, but it is very freeing of the mind because you chase your meals all day.

Another big part of my day is taken up when police officers come on-site. I understand why the little old lady whose husband died six months ago and she sees something that she doesn't understand calls the police. I completely understand that, but why, when the police officer drives by and sees a hobo doing vagrant things, there's no reason for him to stop. He understands what's going on, he sees it all the time. It's frustrating and just because we're homeless doesn't mean we're criminals. That takes up a good probably three hours out of my day.

Why don't you sleep in shelters?

Mainly, I have social anxiety. I have a hard time being around crowds. You're vulnerable and there are predators that prey on the weak, so I find it's easier to protect myself outside. I'm resourceful.

What's the hardest thing about not having a place to live?

The hardest part about not having a place to live is they won't let me have visits with my children until I have my own place.

If you could get the government to change one thing, what would it be?

I think that for me, it's things like personal hygiene that bother me. I can't jump in the shower whenever I want. At the YMCA, you need picture ID in order to go take a shower. My IDs have been stolen.

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You ask to go to a business just to go to the bathroom and suddenly the washrooms are out of order everywhere. No one lets us use the bathroom. I have a book bag with fresh clothes so I can blend in with everybody else but then I have to find somewhere to change into that or put it overtop and hide my bags, but not just homeless people steal. You'd be surprised just how many different people steal and mostly it's little old ladies (laughs) from my experience.

So, you have to jeopardize the things you need to survive in order to go in to use the bathroom.

And you know, the government owns porta-potties. I remember there was construction this summer and it was great because you know I needed the bathroom and there was a porta-potty. I didn't have to try to race to the shelter.

This time of year it gets cold and dark. What do you do?

I hate the cold. I myself, I tend to hang out where the vents are because I don't like crowds. But I just chill on the vents and organize — try to do some kind of grooming. Sometimes I cry.

You must really be looking forward to a new home.

Yes. Every time I've gotten inside I've chosen to come back out. It's not that I had it and lost it, I get a place and just wouldn't go there. My mind has healed so much. And it's because being homeless … you chase one meal after another, you don't need to use your brain at all and even the smallest thing like paying rent is a responsibility. And since I was seven years old, I was raising someone else's kids until I was raising my own and I never had the freeing of responsibility and some part of me knew I needed that in order to heal. 

Thank you for talking for me.  I hope you find a place to live soon.

I had my housing readjusted and there is supposed to be some coming up. Plus I get my cheque soon. Worst case scenario I'll rent a room.        

CBC New Brunswick is hosting Seeking Shelter: A community conversation about homelessness.

The event will be held on March 12 at 7 p.m. at the Peter McKee Community Food Centre in Moncton.

CBC's Vanessa Blanch will be hosting a panel discussion on the current housing crisis in New Brunswick.