Gloria Halvorsen finds happiness in life as a woman

Gloria Halvorsen is happy now, at 53 years old. But, it wasn't always that way.

For more than five decades, the Saint Johner lived her life as a male. She grew up as a boy, got married and divorced as a man, and went about her daily life trying to live up to the expectations that go with being a man.

She just didn't feel like one.

That feeling started by the time Halvorsen was eight.

"I did dream about being a girl, wanted to wear girl's clothes, but somehow I had to fit the mold," Halverson said. 

"So I hid it. I hid it from my parents, I hid it from my friends. I just kept it inside."

Halvorsen would buy girls clothes, often at Christmas time, pretending to be gift shopping for a girl. Getting caught was always a concern.

"For the longest time I felt shame about who I was … I felt something was wrong with me but I couldn't fix it. It was really part of me."

Halvorsen grew up, spent three years in the Navy, got married and divorced and engaged to be married again. 

But, it had become impossible to go on any longer.

"It just came to a head and I couldn't … I couldn't live hiding anymore," Halvorsen said.

It just came to a head and I couldn't … I couldn't live hiding anymore.- Gloria Halvorsen

She took the first steps with a few close friends "and they were very supportive," Halvorsen said.

"I was so scared of losing friends. I became myself and started presenting as Gloria more and more … and the more I did it the more I had to."

The surprising thing to her was how much support she received. Friends, family and co-workers seem to have taken her decision in stride. 

But, it hasn't all been easy.

"It killed my last relationship," Halvorsen said of the woman she was engaged to marry. 

"She embraced me but really she needed a man in her life and it was something I really couldn't provide. We've since become great friends. She's one of my great supporters, but that being said, I couldn't give her what she needed."

She also had a public run-in with an acquaintance who insisted on using her male given name, loudly and often in a mall food court. The confrontation ended with ridicule.

"To be laughed at … the person laughed too. It made me feel like such a freak. It was very hard to digest," she says, adding the man later apologized.

Halvorsen is philosophical about the confrontation.

"I think if you expect tolerance you have to give it. People need time to digest this and come to terms with it. It's such a foreign thing to them," she said.

Now, Halvorsen is looking to the future, getting ready to undergo hormone therapy — a medical cost that she'll have to pay herself. 

It's part of the price to be happy, something Halvorson clearly is, especially when she talks about her mother's reaction.

"My mom says I look much better now. I actually care about my appearance and she says I have a good fashion sense," Halvorsen said with a laugh.

"She's in the hospital right now and when I go visit she introduces me as her daughter, Gloria,  which feels wonderful."