'Do they think of me?' Adoptee eager to see province unlock records April 1

Jim Lively has spent a lifetime wondering about his identity.

"Me and every other adoptee that I know of just basically want to know who we are and where we came from," he said.

Lively, 52, was adopted in the 1960s, when his teenage mother was forced to give him up.

That's almost all he knows.

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His adoption records were sealed, and he's now anxious to see them.

Last year, the legislature passed a bill to loosen up adoption records.

For adoptions that happened before April 1, 2018, an adult adoptee or a birth parent will be able to apply for information about the other person, but the other person can veto its release.

For adoptions after April 1, 2018, birth parents will be told that information may someday be released to the adoptee, but they can choose not to be contacted.

"I finally can maybe start writing the first chapter of my life and write my life's book and have it completed," said Lively, who lives in Oromocto.

A right to information

His desire to know more about his birth parents became more intense when he had children of his own. Now he wants to  learn about his family history, as do thousands of other adoptees in similar situations across New Brunswick.

Although Lively said he understands why he was put up for adoption, if he gets the chance to speak with his parents, he has a few questions for them.

"How's life been?" he said. "Have you thought of me? … Do they think of me on my birthday?"

It's also important he learns about any type of medical condition that might be out there, particularly for his kids.

Lively said he wants to have the same rights as everybody else, including a right to know his full medical history. 

[There's] a huge family out there waiting, but I don't think any of them know.-Jim Lively, adoptee

"I have no idea if there's Alzheimer's, a risk of cancer ... heart disease," he said.   

Lively said he also understands his parents may no longer be alive or don't want to know who he is, but it's a risk he's willing to take.

If his birth parents don't want to see him, he said, it will be "their loss."

According to the non-identifying birth records he was able to get in 2011, Lively's mother had 11 siblings and his birth father had seven.

"[There's] a huge family out there waiting, but I don't think any of them know," Lively said.

"The struggle was an uphill fight all the way for a while. Every time we turned a corner there were walls built, walls we had to tear down."

"We wanted full 100 per cent, no vetoes, but for some reason others feel there needs to be a veto."

But not everyone wants their information released.

Wants privacy

Craig Stewart, an adoptee living in New Brunswick, is asking for a veto.

This will give him the right to stop the province from releasing any information about his life.

"I have no contact or wish any contact with anyone who sired me or birthed me," said Stewart, who has known that he was adopted since he was a small child and considers the parents who raised him are his only parents.

But he said the process to have a person's information protected is an "opt-in process instead of an opt-out process."

Over the past few weeks, Stewart said, he's been filling out a series of forms to maintain his privacy.

"I had to go through less of a series of checks and information-gathering to get a passport," Stewart said.

"What starts to get concerning is when they're asking for detailed contact information like phone number, cell number, work phone number, email address. This is all so I can actually submit a veto, so my information is not actually released."

But that information would still be in the system, attached to his veto, he said.

Stewart said he would rather not have the information tied together at all and worries about things such as computer hacking and data breaches.

"In essence, the process is penalizing me for wishing to maintain my privacy," he said.