P.K. Subban's mom Maria shares wise words with young Montreal professionals

Everyone at the Brown Beauties Brunching event held Sunday at Blaxpo – an event to launch Black History Month – was eager to meet P.K. Subban's mother Maria and hear her perspective, as a mother of five professionals, on achieving success.

• Blaxpo celebrates black artists and businesses for Black History Month

"I've got two teachers and three professional hockey players, and for us black people that's unheard of," Subban told the crowded room.

"They don't see us in that light, but we've got to see ourselves in that light."

Subban was part of a panel of influential black women who offered insights and advice to more than 100 women, most of them young black professionals.

Other panelists included Tania Clarke, chief financial officer at Imvescor Restaurant Group Inc., author Marie-Louise Bibish Mumbu and Toronto-based journalist Namugenyi Kiwanuka.

They discussed a broad range of topics, including raising confident children, balancing work and family, building solidarity within diverse black communities and facing roadblocks and seizing opportunities throughout one's career.

Subban's message to parents

Subban's message is that parents need to support their children through thick and thin.

"My children are big, but I'm still supporting them ... They're faced with a lot of things every single day, and they look to us for answers," she said.

If children cannot turn to their parents, Subban said, they'll turn to someone else – and then it could be too late.

"Make sure you're there for your kids all the time, not just when you feel like it," said Subban, who worked in the corporate world for 35 years and said even while loving her job, her children came first. 

Overcoming obstacles 

Tania Clarke said she's familiar with the feeling of being the "only" black chief financial officer around. She also talked about travelling to meet business associates whom she'd only met over the phone and seeing the shock on their faces once they realized she is a black woman.

"They'll eventually say, 'You're not really black,'"  because she's educated and doesn't "sound" black on the phone, Clarke said.

Her reaction: "Well, you don't know what black is. You may define black as a rapper ... but black is a spectrum. We are a rainbow of colours."

Clarke said she has a light complexion, some relatives are lighter and some relatives are mixed, but they all identify as black.

She told young professionals in the room to make sure they stand out in their careers for the work they do.

"You do it with professionalism ... making your deadlines," Clarke said.

"Whether you're black or white, in the business world today ... the ones who achieve are the ones that always went further and worked harder," she said.

Tough questions, honest answers

Tamara Hart, executive director of the DESTA black youth network, was in the audience and pointed out that most people in the room are more privileged than the young black men her organization supports.

Hart pointed out that people in the audience were able to purchase tickets for the brunch and are likely in a better position to take the steps suggested by the panelists, such as accepting unpaid internships to gain work experience. 

Journalist Namugenyi Kiwanuka was quick to clarify that she was kicked out of her home at 16, and although she's achieved success in her career, she did not start out from a position of privilege.

"My father would push me down the stairs almost on a regular basis," she said.

"But I think you have to have like a warrior spirit, because if you take on other people's baggage of what [they think] you're supposed to be, it's going to destroy you," Kiwanuka said.
 
She got her first television job at CityTV after phoning the station every day for a year while living in a rooming house, she said.

That frank response gave Hart ideas about setting up mentorships for the black men DESTA helps.

"This is what our youth need to hear, that while yes, she's successful, she overcame a lot of similar obstacles that they face," Hart said.

Inspiration

After listening to all the panelists, many women in the crowd left feeling inspired.

I "enjoyed seeing women that were doing well in business – women that look like me," said Renée Jordan, a mechanical engineer who aspires to work in upper management one day. It's "just that boost you need to keep going, keep trying and never give up."

Patricia Olenga is a pharmaceutical sales representative who also dreams of advancing in the corporate world. By the end of the two-hour panel discussion, she had tears in her eyes.

"It feels really good to have black role models, black women to look up to," she said. "It's easier to look in the future ... when you can see yourself there."