As a teen, Montreal's Black community saved her — now, she's paying it back

CBC Quebec is highlighting people from the province's Black communities who are giving back, inspiring others and helping to shape our future. These are the Black Changemakers.

Jade Parkinson-Gayle remembers what it was like to be 16. Her mother had just died, and she found herself uprooted from her life in Mississauga, Ont., and thrust into a new one in Montreal.

"I wasn't interested in making friends. I wasn't interested in belonging here," she said. "I saw myself as a bit of an island and just trying to survive. I didn't need anybody, and I couldn't count on anybody."

Then she was introduced to the teen leadership program at the Côte-des-Neiges Black Community Association, an experience that she said changed her life. Suddenly, she had a mentor and a community. She said it brought her "back to life."

Now Parkinson-Gayle is paying that forward, mentoring other Black women and girls, with the dream of one day opening a centre run by and for Montreal's Black community.

Through her work with the Y, the Côte-des-Neiges Black Community Association, the English Montreal School Board and Amcal, a non-profit social service agency in Montreal's West Island, Parkinson-Gayle said she's trying to help teens the way she was helped when she was their age.

"Sometimes I have to help a girl to take away the layers of who she might have been pretending to be, or who she might think other people expect her to be, to allow her to see who she really is or what she wants to be," Parkinson-Gayle said.

She tries not to push any of them through that process, she said — instead, sitting with them and meeting them where they are.

"They're just looking for someone to be like, 'Yeah, I get you, and I feel you, and I'm willing to do my part to make a difference,'" she said.

"I think it empowers them in some ways to see themselves as capable of doing the same, even if it is a simple conversation like, 'Let's not all pretend that we're OK and admit that we're not feeling good.'"

Her work doesn't stop with teenagers. Parkinson-Gayle has also founded Black Girls Like Me — an initiative to encourage Black women to speak openly about their issues.

"We have the strong Black female trope, that everyone's always pushing through and surviving," she said, "that we are the superheroes, and we come through and put everyone else first."

She said younger women are keen to shift the paradigm, but change doesn't come easily.

"There's still a hesitation and a fear in being honest and vulnerable," she said. Even within her own circle of friends, Parkinson-Gayle said, getting people to open up with one another about their feelings can be difficult.

"There's a long line of ancestral damage, where you're expected to just push through, and you don't complain about it."

A dream for the future

Parkinson-Gayle's ultimate goal is to build a community centre specifically geared towards Black Montrealers.

"Picture the YMCA, but Black," she said.

When she was young and in need, having a predominantly Black space was a safe harbour, she said.

"I was able to go and be around Black folks and not have to think about, are they going to judge me because of my hair, or the way I talk, or something like that?"

She said in Montreal's health and social service sector, there's still a lack of cultural and racial sensitivity that often undermines the work those in the network are trying to do.

"So we're like, 'OK, let's just create somewhere where you might have all the same problems but racism definitely isn't one of them, and microaggressions definitely aren't one of them,'" she said.

While the project is still in its "baby phases," Parkinson-Gayle said, she's optimistic her dream will one day become a reality.

"We're in it for the long haul," she said. "This is just the beginning."

The Black Changemakers is a special series recognizing individuals who, regardless of background or industry, are driven to create a positive impact in their community. From tackling problems to showing small gestures of kindness on a daily basis, these changemakers are making a difference and inspiring others. Meet all the changemakers here.

For more stories about the experiences of Black Canadians — from anti-Black racism to success stories within the Black community — check out Being Black in Canada, a CBC project Black Canadians can be proud of. You can read more stories here.