Residential school survivor doesn't know if final report of TRC will make a difference

Vivian Ketchum still sees a psychologist for post traumatic stress. 

The 51-year-old was in a residential school in Kenora run by the Presbyterian Church in the 70's. 

"I was beaten. I was sexually abused there. I was hit with a shoe and my finger was broken. And my life is still broken today. I am still trying to repair the damage after almost 50 years. I have lost three children. One I have lost contact with, one to a custody battle, and one died of a brain tumour," said Ketchum. 

Some never came home

Ketchum says while she survived, many others didn't. She remembers a little boy trying to run away from the school to make it back home to Shoal Lake. 

"By car, that is 45 minutes in winter, he nearly froze to death. RCMP found him and brought him back. But others never came back and we never knew what happened to them. We weren't allowed to ask questions." 

The report acknowledges that more than 3,000 children never returned home from residential schools. The question of what happened to them haunted their families and communities for years.  Many of their bodies are in unmarked graves across the country. They died from tuberculosis, influenza and typhoid. The report calls for an online registry of school cemeteries and if possible to plot maps. 

Open wound

Ketchum told her story to an adjudicator with the Commission. News of the final report brings fresh pain.

"I feel like it's a raw wound. This whole past year has opened a lot of wounds for me. Wounds of post traumatic stress. Nobody sees that. I don't allow anybody to see that. Only my professional counsellor knows how broken I really am," said Ketchum. 

The report has more than 10,000 pages of stories where children were separated from their families, culture and language. Documented evidence shows they suffered high rates of mental, physical and sexual abuse.

Ketchum doesn't hold out hope she will live to 60. Her brother and sister, both residential school survivors, died before they were 55. Ketchum is pushing hard to make what changes she can while she is still alive.

"Ironically I am working with the Presbyterian Church on a national level. At first I hated them. But then I got to know them on a personal level and that helped. I do writing for the church on the issue of residential schools. I will have a column in 2016 every month on healing and reconciliation. I put stuff on their website. I want to make sure they never forget," she said.

Ketchum says working with the church validates her story. She says they are listening. The success of the report, in her opinion, will be measured by how the public's attitudes to aboriginals change. 

"I told my story. I want to be seen as an equal. What happened to us was real. Don't tell us to get over it because I still live with it on daily basis. I still have long term health effects. I have scarred lungs from tuberculosis and I still have nightmares."