How do mixed-race couples make it work? New documentary shares the ups, downs and a soundtrack for each

Chris Sharpe knows firsthand of the many challenges in mixed relationships, so in 2023 he turned the camera on his own marriage, along with a cast of other couples, to find the "secret sauce" for a successful cross-cultural match.

That journey led to Relationship Remix, a 44-minute Black Space Manitoba film co-created and co-produced by Sharpe for CBC's Absolutely Canadian documentary series. Relationship Remix shares advice from a wedding planner working with mixed couples and from couples like Sharpe and his wife Sonya.

"I think people will get an inside look that they're not alone, and that there's a lot of couples that are going through these kind of things, and we definitely want them to reach out and start the conversation and break down barriers and stereotypes," Sharpe, a producer and multimedia specialist, said in an interview. 

"You know love is just resilient, it just can't be stopped." 

In the film, Chris, who's Jamaican, sat down with Sonya's parents, who are Pakistani and opposed his dating their daughter.

In the beginning, Sonya's parents simply called him "that guy."

It was the first time Sharpe asked his in-laws about those early days.

"It was really like closure, and then also unity at the same time," Sharpe said, as he better understood their motives.

"I really never had animosity for my in-laws.… I just wanted them to understand that everything was going to be OK, and that we just needed your support."

The film's concept began in a meeting with Sharpe's friend and co-producer Lino Martinez Jr., who's in a mixed relationship with his wife Charlene Gaskin-Martinez.

"I said, 'How cool would it be for people who were born in Canada to see how it is, to get a fly-on-the-wall kind of view, perspectives of two non-Canadian cultures coming together to figure things out,'" said Martinez Jr., who's a proud Latin American and Canadian.

True love can conquer all. I'm sure it's already been put on a keychain. It's on a bumper sticker out there.- Lino Martinez Jr.

While he's usually a private person, Martinez Jr. agreed to help Sharpe with the project.

In the film, Martinez Jr. and Charlene dance at a salsa club — a highlight he wanted to share — and also discuss their marriage's difficult history.

Martinez Jr. reflects on how cultural customs are "ingrained in who you are, and really structure who you are as a person."

His expectations of women's roles at home surprised Charlene, and that conflict could have ended their marriage. Instead, it led to reflection and change.

"True love can conquer all. I'm sure it's already been put on a keychain. It's on a bumper sticker out there."

"You create new customs and a new way of thinking and a fresh way of living," Martinez Jr.said.

"You're coming together to create something new.… It's OK to let go of old things to accept new things for your new life with your partner."

Sharpe also helped create something new for each couple in the film: a custom-produced song blending elements from both their cultures.

He got his start DJing, planning concerts and seeing music bring people together.

"It's one language that I feel really does speak to everything."

As a companion to the film, Relationship Remix the Album is available on most streaming platforms.

Relationship Remix streams free on CBC Gem starting Feb. 14.