Accentuate the positive: Why it's worth putting in the effort to see the bright side

Years ago, I drove my then tween-age son and his buddy to a community centre dance.

Since both boys were nervous as Mike Pence in a White House policy meeting, I commented that the dance should be a great time. The boys whispered and giggled, then my son said with a groan: "Oh, my mom looks on the bright side of EVERYTHING!"

I had to laugh because although his statement was broad, it wasn't far wrong. Not that I always have a positive outlook. I've struggled with clinical depression for over 20 years, for pity's sake. If there's anyone who can focus on the negative, it's me. 

In public, though, I always try to look on the bright side. That's due to being raised by parents who grew up in an era when complaining was viewed as horrendously self-indulgent. "Just get on with it," was their motto, despite the not-insignificant challenges both faced growing up. The Great Depression, Second World War, food rationing, abusive fathers, accidents, illness: they went through it, moved past it and endeavoured to put it behind them. 

My dad used to tell my brother and me that if someone asked how we were, we should always say, "Fine!" He told us no acquaintance wanted to hear about our problems. Not only was he right, it was a powerful lesson. Focus on the positive, not the negative.

Now before you go all "it's not all sunshine and roses out there" on me, I'd like to qualify my opinion. Whilst I believe that being positive is crucial to a happier life, I don't believe in sacrificing common sense. Some things are worth being skeptical about in order to protect yourself from harm. If you never consider the downside of things, you'll soon find yourself in difficulties. Or at the very least, the owner of some Florida swampland.

However, a little negativity goes a long way. Don't we all have that one friend/co-worker that constantly focuses on the downside of everything? Ask them how their day was and before you know it, you're listening to a list of complaints longer than The Donald's comb-over. I don't know about you but I find dealing with people like that extremely draining. 

Positive thinking has health benefits

Unsurprisingly, researchers at the Mayo Clinic (and others) have found that there are concrete health benefits to thinking positively. Optimists may live longer, have lower rates of depression, greater resistance to the common cold, better cardiovascular health and reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease.

It's not altogether clear why positive thinking can have these effects, but scientists theorize that optimism allows us to deal with stress better, which in turn reduces its harmful effects on the body. Researchers also suggest that positive people tend to live healthier lifestyles, exercise more, eat better and avoid nasty habits like smoking and drinking to excess. 

So if you're the "bah, humbug!" type, it's not too late to turn your routine of negative thinking into positive thinking. However, you do have to be diligent in developing the habit. Following are some suggestions as to how to be less of a Donnie Downer:

1.    Start small and build. If you want to be more positive, start by identifying specific things you usually think negatively about, and focus on how to be more positive about them. Hate your commute? Find a way to make it more fun. Audio books can take the edge off getting stuck in traffic. Carpooling with a fun co-worker can help, too. 

2.    Check yourself, before you wreck yourself. Take a break at different times during your day to check your thinking. If it's mainly negative, try to figure out how to put things in a more positive light. Tough workout? Focus on how fabulous you'll feel later on. 

3.    Laughter:  the best medicine. They say tragedy is the root of comedy. When times are tough, a sense of humour will help you more than any gripe session. 

4.    Do your body good. Dragging yourself out of bed after a late night and rushing to work with nothing for fuel but last night's takeout is probably not going to set you up for an optimistic mindset. Sufficient sleep, healthy meals and regular exercise all combine to put you in a positive frame of mind. 

5.    Shiny, happy people. It's tough to be positive when everyone around you is doing their best impression of a sad clown. Avoid "Negative Nancys" and seek out positive, supportive people who'll lift you up when you are feeling down. 

6.    Honey, not vinegar. If we talked to our BFF the way we talk to ourselves, they'd likely smack us. Do yourself a favour and don't say anything to yourself you wouldn't say to them. Let negative thoughts go and focus on things for which you are grateful.

Remember, life isn't perfect. It's up to you whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. Choose wisely.

This column is part of CBC's Opinion section. For more information about this section, please read this editor's blog and our FAQ.

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