Cancer survivor hopes to inspire others in their fight for life

She is a Manitoba wife, mother and cancer survivor with a story she wanted to tell about life, loss and love. And so, when CBC Manitoba created a form for our audience to "Pitch a Story," she reached out to the CBC and asked to share her's.

Below, in her own words, is her story. 

Becoming a parent and facing serious illness are chapters many people face during some point in life. But most people don't have those two chapters collide at warp speed. 

I did.

On Oct. 3, 2017, I heard four terrifying words: "You have breast cancer." 

I was almost 34 and I was seven months pregnant. 

I went from finding a lump in the shower to having my world fall apart, all in a matter of weeks.

I was finally beginning to enjoy pregnancy after being very anxious for the first two trimesters. My husband and I had suffered a late loss of twins in the second trimester the year before, so I'd had a hard time staying calm during this pregnancy.

Then, BOOM! I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer, one of the most aggressive forms of breast cancer.

My oncology team agreed that the rapidly growing tumour had to go ASAP.

So at eight months pregnant, I underwent a lumpectomy surgery.

Four weeks later, my daughter Cecilia was born. 

Just 12 hours after delivering her, I was wheeled off to the imaging floor at St. Boniface Hospital for multiple scans to determine the stage my cancer was in. (We had to wait until after she was born to safely scan my body.)

There are no words to express my love and gratitude for my amazing husband- Raina Stromberg

Chemotherapy began soon after, and it took a toll on me. I was recovering from giving birth and experiencing postpartum hormones — all while going through chemo-induced menopause. 

On Christmas Day, my hair began to fall out. I was experiencing daily hot flashes and felt as if I was suffering from chronic flu. 

By New Year's Eve, I was unable to fully take care of my daughter, let alone myself. 

If any husband deserves a Husband of the Year award, it would go to Nate.

He took a leave from work to take care of Cecilia and me. I never thought our vows to stick together "in sickness and in health" would really come into effect until we were well into our golden years. 

I could be in a room full of people, with or without cancer, and feel so alone- Raina Stromberg

There really are no words to express my love and gratitude for this man, my amazing husband and phenomenal father to Cecilia. He truly is the hero of this story. 
 
My mental health also was greatly impacted. I was missing out on being there for Cece and I needed help. My mind was a mess, like a tangled ball of yarn that had to be unravelled and put back together.

That is when I met Susan, a wonderful CancerCare counsellor who drove an hour each way every two weeks to see me close to my rural Manitoba home. We worked on processing everything, from the loss of the twins to my cancer diagnosis, all while learning to be a parent. Susan helped me immensely.

As a young adult with cancer, I felt very out of place going to chemo. Most people were decades older. The nurses and staff were so warm and wonderful and tried to make me feel as comfortable as possible, but I could still feel eyes looking at me as I walked to my chemo infusion chair.

I also found it difficult connecting with other people in my age group. People could sympathize with what I was going through, but not truly understand how I was actually feeling. I could be in a room full of people, with or without cancer, yet feel so alone.

I felt as if I didn't fit into the cancer patient mould or with other new parents. Instead of attending Mommy and Me classes with Cece, I was going to the hospital for countless appointments and lengthy chemotherapy infusions.

The eyes that would look at me were not what I call 'pity eyes'- Raina Stromberg

 
 
My mother was a nine-year breast cancer survivor and I turned to her often for advice, but she was diagnosed during a different chapter of her life, in her mid-50s. I needed camaraderie with peers my own age.

That's when I found another breast cancer patient diagnosed during pregnancy in her early 30s.

Suddenly, I felt not so alone. There was another person out there like me! 

We texted back and forth, about everything from wig specialists to tips on how to numb the skin over my port for less painful chemo infusions. Together, we attended monthly young adult cancer support (YACS) meetings at CancerCare Health Sciences Centre, moderated by a kind counsellor named Ian. 

I felt like a bird who was not ready to leave the nest- Raina Stromberg

It was a safe place to talk about anything and everything, and without judgment. The eyes that would look at me were not what I call "pity eyes," but rather eyes that understood every word I said, on a personal level.

I was connected with a mother of two, who also was diagnosed in her 30s. She was on the other side of treatment, and living life to the fullest as a breast cancer survivor.

Seeing her family's happiness and resilience was inspiring and fuelled me on my cancer journey. 

She introduced me to a wonderful local social group of survivors through Young Adult Cancer Canada. I attended monthly fun social outings with my husband and the group.

It was a place where I could be myself and have an actual great time with people who just "get it." Nate also was able to connect with other spouses who understood what he too was going through. 

Chemotherapy ended in 2018, and months later, I underwent a double mastectomy with reconstruction. 

After that, I thought I would move on with my life. But this was not the case. 

I suffered from post-chemo syndrome, chronic pain and brain fog. The appointments suddenly stopped, and I felt like a bird who was not ready to leave the nest. Fear of cancer recurrence consumed me. (There is a higher rate of recurrence with triple negative breast cancer, especially in younger women.) 

Somehow, through everything, a miracle had happened- Raina Stromberg

Again, I was introduced to a group of young cancer survivors called What Do I Do Now With My Life? We'd just won the war, yet our battle was not over and our wounds needed healing. 

Fast-forward to early 2019. I was recovering, and I started to feel like a new version of my old self. I was enjoying life and being a mother to Cece. My blood work to test fertility kept coming back post-menopausal, but my body felt better. 

I made plans to return to work in August. Life beyond cancer was now my reality and life was good. This felt like the start of a great life chapter. 

In May, however, I started to feel unwell again. But this wasn't chemo unwell. It felt different.

As it turns out, it was very different. I was pregnant again!

Somehow, through everything, a miracle had happened. Our baby is due this December!

Through this happiness, I have some survivors' guilt. I often think about my friends who won't have the opportunity to have more life chapters. 

I know I cannot control everything in life or if my cancer does come back, but I can control how I react.

So I try to slow down and enjoy life, not sweat the small stuff. I am grateful every day for my life after cancer. 

Because I know life is a beautiful thing and how truly precious it is. 

This column is part of CBC's Opinion section. For more information about this section, please read this editor's blog and our FAQ.

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