The path to parenthood: A made-in-Manitoba surrogacy story
A B.C. couple are now parents, thanks to a Winnipeg egg donor and surrogate
It took the love of four people, plus doctors, nurses, doulas and midwives, to bring baby Quinn into the world on June 18.
She is the daughter of Vancouver-based same-sex couple Brandon Overland and Austin Hoff, thanks to two women from Winnipeg — one egg-donor and one surrogate.
"Having children was one of the top priorities for us," said Overland, who grew up in Manitoba and now lives on the West coast.
He and Hoff met more than 10 years ago and were married in 2015. It wasn't long after that they started exploring their options for starting a family, looking first at adoption.
"There were a lot of challenges as a gay couple, you know we were limited in terms of what countries we could adopt from," said Overland, noting their options were basically the United States and Canada and wait times were long.
So the couple decided to go the surrogacy route and started working with a fertility clinic. The next step was to find an egg donor and they immediately had a friend in mind.
"Actually, we went to Mexico with her and we were thinking of asking her at that time," said Overland, who did not want to name the friend.
"Basically we sat down with [her] ... and she was like, 'why haven't you asked me yet?' Everything just kind of fit that way and it was perfect."
Next step was to find someone willing to be a gestational surrogate.
Surrogacy is regulated in Canada by the Assisted Human Reproduction Act, which came into force in 2004.
While it is illegal to pay, offer to pay or advertise intention to pay a woman to be a surrogate, the legislation does allow reimbursement for certain medical and maternity costs when the service is done for altruistic reasons.
Overland and Hoff say they reached out to agencies for help connecting them to prospective surrogates but didn't find a match that worked for them.
They shared their story on social media, which was then shared by their Winnipeg friend, who is a birth photographer.
"I had the perfect demographic in terms of my audience," said Elliana Allon, who has been capturing birth through her lens since 2016.
"I kind of imagined I was putting this thing out into this murky ocean. Who knows who is going to reply — someone in the 'States, someone far away? And then in the end it was Brianna ... someone who I had just [photographed]."
Overland and Hoff had no idea who Brianna Darbel was when she sent them an email offering to become their surrogate.
The mother of three said she had offered to carry a child for her sister, who was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at 18 and had both her ovaries removed as a result. As it turned out, the cancer did not affect her sister's uterus and she was able to get pregnant after all, Darbel said.
"I was happy my sister was able to carry her own baby but I was really attached to the idea," she said. "I had kind of wrapped my head around it, I had done screening appointments with the clinic already."
She said they emailed for a while, got all of the tough questions out of the way, and then with her husband decided it was the right choice for their family to become a surrogate.
"I think from the moment we had our initial conversations with Brianna, we knew right away that [she] was the one," said Hoff. "She was amazing, very knowledgeable and very authentic. It just felt right for sure."
Darbel said being a surrogate felt completely different than when she was pregnant with her own children because she knew from the start Quinn was not biologically hers.
"I called her my belly buddy at times, and at other times she was my uterine pest," she said with a laugh.
Hoff and Overland know which of them is the biological father, but are only sharing with close friends and family.
They say despite being in B.C., three provinces away from Darbel, it felt real right away that they were becoming fathers.
There were numerous Face Time calls and flights between the provinces and finally, in June, Hoff and Overland made their final trip to Winnipeg for their daughter's birth.
"My heart just melted ... just instant love," said Hoff. "Just seeing her little face and hearing her scream, it was amazing."
The couple and Quinn are now at home in Vancouver, settling into their new life as three.
