I used to donate to the food bank — then suddenly, I needed one

This First Person column is the experience of Donna Swarzynski, a Steinbach, Man., mother and volunteer cook at a food bank. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see the FAQ.

My name is Donna and this is my story.

Back in March of 2016, I was working full time as a car sales consultant. I was a single mom to a seven-year-old girl and to our cat, Tigger, living in a beautiful condo in Niverville, Man., that I had purchased after my separation/divorce in 2011. Life was good. 

Then, in mid-March of that year, while I was at work, I ended up having a severe mental breakdown and in an instant, the life I once knew changed forever.

It all started when a co-worker asked me how I was doing. I told her I was doing OK and then she asked me if I was sure, because she thought I was depressed.

Instantly I began to cry, and I couldn't stop crying. I cried for six hours straight. I didn't even know that one could cry so much. I left work and made a doctor's appointment for later that afternoon.

My doctor immediately put me on sick leave. What I originally thought was going to be a short-term leave turned into a long-term leave.

Even though I had insurance from work, it significantly decreased my income. It left me in a financial struggle to pay for my mortgage, car payments, insurance, gas and groceries for myself and my daughter.

I sat in my car for a few minutes before I had the courage to walk inside and ask for help.- Donna Swarzynski

I didn't know what to do or where to go for help. Both my parents had passed away years earlier, and I felt so alone.

One day at church, though, I mentioned my situation to a lady who suggested I pick up a food hamper from Helping Hands in Niverville. She said that I could pick up a food hamper biweekly, as needed.

I knew about Helping Hands because I often donated food items at the local grocery store, with my daughter. But I had no idea where it was located — even though I had lived in Niverville for years — until I needed it myself.

1st visit to a food bank

So on a Thursday afternoon in November 2016, while my daughter was at school, I drove myself to Helping Hands for the very first time. 

I remember that day like it was yesterday.

I remember pulling up to the church and feeling hopeless and so alone. I sat in my car for a few minutes before I had the courage to walk inside and ask for help. 

I remember walking up to the big brown steel door and starting to cry. I couldn't believe I was in this position of needing help. I had always worked, since I was 14 years old. Never could I have ever imagined that I would be in need of help one day myself.

As I started to walk down the stairs with my head held down and with tears in my eyes, I looked up to see about six ladies smiling and welcoming me to Helping Hands. One of the ladies immediately came up to me and put her arms around me and comforted me. She was like an angel in disguise, giving me hope in what I felt was a hopeless situation.

She told me that everything was going to be OK and that everyone needs some sort of help at some point in their lives. This was one of those times.

When I left, I felt hopeful — that things were going to be OK. And they were.- Donna Swarzynski

I was then given a box that contained some canned goods, Kraft Dinner, pasta, a package of ground beef, milk, eggs, a loaf of bread, cereal, rice and some other food items.

I remember going home and making supper for me and my daughter. I made sweet and sour meatballs, rice and canned corn. 

I specifically remember that, because prior to going to Helping Hands, I made spaghetti noodles for supper, seven days in a row — because that's all I had in my cupboard. Spaghetti and tomato sauce, spaghetti with butter, spaghetti with homemade alfredo sauce, spaghetti in chicken broth, etc.

So that night, it was great to have something other than spaghetti to eat. 

I remember arriving at Helping Hands feeling hopeless, but when I left, I felt hopeful — that things were going to be OK.

And they were.

I am so incredibly thankful that Helping Hands was, and still is, available to help me during my time of need.

I used to donate to the food bank — then suddenly, I needed one

2 years ago

Duration 2:45

Warm greeting at Manitoba food bank gave Donna Swarzynski hope in what felt like a hopeless situation.

If you or someone you know is struggling, here's where to get help:

• Talk Suicide Canada: 1-833-456-4566 (phone) | 45645 (text between 4 p.m. and midnight ET).
• Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 (phone), live chat counselling on the website.
• Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention: Find a 24-hour crisis centre.
• This guide from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health outlines how to talk about suicide with someone you're worried about.
• ​​If you're in immediate danger or fear for your safety or that of others around you, please call 911. 

This column is part of  CBC's Opinion section. For more information about this section, please read this editor's blog and our FAQ.

• Read more opinion pieces published by CBC Manitoba.