'It destroyed my life': Conversion therapy survivor encouraged by Parliament's vote to ban practice

It was a day Bradley West didn't think would ever come. 

On Wednesday, members of Parliament unanimously agreed to fast track a bill to ban the practice of conversion therapy, a widely discredited practice that aims to change an individual's sexual orientation or gender identity.

West, who went through multiple different types of conversion therapy in his 20s in Manitoba, said Wednesday's vote "just reinvigorated my belief in what is possible."

The vote, which had support across political parties, "is a powerful reminder to us that people of all sectors can come together in the spirit of harmony and do the right thing and walk in a right way," he said.

"That was a beautiful moment.… It was what Canada can be at its best."

A  longtime member of Winnipeg's 2SLGBTQ+ community, West says he went through multiple rounds of conversion therapy, which left him feeling suicidal.  

"It destroyed my life in the sense of my sense of self. I mean, it took me to the very edge of who I was," he said in an interview with CBC Radio's Up To Speed. 

LISTEN | Bradley West on how conversion therapy impacted his life:

'This was about power and control'

He still vividly remembers some of the people he met in conversion therapy.

"I can clearly see the faces of the men and women, some … in their 40s, and some of them who are just barely over 18 in the circles, and all of them just wrestling with this deep shame that was being heaped upon us," he said. 

In one of the last sessions he participated in it, he asked the group if they would still want to change their sexual orientation if God and their families accepted them for who they were. 

"And the room went silent, and this one man looked at me through tears, and he said, 'If that happened, of course I wouldn't change myself.… I'm here because of them.'

"And that was when I knew in my heart that this wasn't right," said West. "This wasn't about faith. This was about power and control. This was about people wanting to express power over how we live our lives."

The practice of conversion therapy has been banned in Manitoba since 2015. The province's official stance is that it has no place in the health-care system. 

A previous iteration of the bill didn't pass the Senate before the legislative agenda was cleared by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's election call last summer.

When MPs voted on that version of the bill earlier this year, 63 Conservatives, including four from Manitoba — Candice Bergen, Ted Falk, James Bezan and Dan Mazier — voted against it. Some said it was due to the wording of the legislation.

But when federal bill was passed this week via voice vote — meaning MPs could have signalled there was not unanimous consent by shouting "nay" or "no" — there was no apparent dissension. The House of Commons erupted in applause.

Dissenters able to remain silent

"Part of it was the Conservative Party finally getting into the 21st century," said Barry Karlenzig, president of the non-partisan group Pride Winnipeg.

Karlenzig speculated the four Manitoba MPs who dissented in the summer may have received pushback from their constituents at the time.

"It brought to light a lot of issues that needed to be addressed to a lot of different communities, but also to a lot of members in Parliament, saying 'What you think or what you thought 35 years ago is not what your constituents who voted you in feel or think."

He said after the summer vote, Pride Winnipeg reached out to Falk's office about his stance but never heard back.

The nature of the voice vote this week meant MPs who dissented in the summer could remain silent this time around, allowing those who remain opposed to avoid going on the record again.

"It's a double-edged sword," said Karlenzig. "It's a great thing that it was rushed through the House of Commons to get passed. It's a sad thing that it had to be rushed to allow individuals not having to [show their position]."

Identity 'not up for debate'

Now 53, West said he didn't have much hope that conversion therapy would be outlawed in Canada when he was younger. It used to be frustrating to see his identity debated as a political issue, he said.

"My identity, who I am, is not up for debate. This is not a political football. This is my life you are talking about — it's my heart, my mind, my body, my spirit, my soul, my essence of who I am," he said.

The legislation still has to pass in the Senate, but West said Wednesday's vote in the House of Commons gives him hope for the future.

"I take this as a moment of lightness because it can get heavy, this work — you know, it can get hard. There's a lot to carry," he said. 

"So I just feel like for many people, this will be a day that encourages them, just as it has encouraged me."

To learn more, listen to They & Us, a CBC original podcast hosted by Faith Fundal.

Find more at cbc.ca/theyandus and subscribe on  CBC Listen, Apple, Google, Spotify or however you like to listen.