Wildfires, floods, catastrophes — and kids? Why this gen-Zer pledged not to have children

CBC Manitoba's Creator Network asked gen-Zers and millennials to contemplate the choice to have children. 

"Should I Have Kids?" is a new series that launches with this first-person essay by Michaela Keegan, a young Winnipegger contemplating her choice to have children or not.

In other personal essays and videos to come, young Manitobans reveal their myriad reasons for having or not having kids, from unresolved grief to finances, identity and the climate crisis.  

While sorting through my drawers this past summer, I found a swatch of green felt.

I remembered how I traced a circle, cut it out and put a green safety pin in it. 

I recalled wearing my green felt circle (a symbol of the climate action movement) on my clothing during late 2019, feeling like a veteran with a medal, and realizing at that moment that there are two things I know for sure: I will never be pregnant and I will never birth children.

Today I am 26, and still terrified for the future of the planet. 

For me and many other people around the globe, having biological children is untenable given the climate crisis.

In 2019, I signed the #NoFutureNoChildren pledge circulated online by Greenpeace. As of March 2020, more than 5,000 had vowed not to have children until something is done by the Canadian government about the climate emergency. 

Not enough was being done by the government to counteract the environmental changes occurring. On Sept. 27, 2019, I protested with about 10,000 other Winnipeggers at the Manitoba Legislature, marching in the streets and demanding action on the climate.

Parents brought their young kids. It was sad imagining what the future might bring for those children.

The planet is on fire and flooding, crippled by other natural disasters, and its ice caps are melting. According to National Geographic, by 2050 sea levels will rise to a foot due to melting glaciers, melting ice sheets from Greenland and Antarctica, and thermal expansion. If the sea levels rise like this, the consequences will be deadly for humans and animals alike.

I am not a climate expert but I can't ignore the facts. I am also a woman contemplating the future of any of my unborn children. It's terrifying. I cannot bring an innocent life into this world when the near future is so bleak.

I do not want my child(ren) to witness everything I am witnessing; to feel the fear I am feeling. I do not want my child to resent me for even having them and then dumping this environmental catastrophe on their generation.

I am not saying people who have biological children do not care about the environment, nor am I saying that they are being selfish for wanting to have children. I understand why they are continuing to do so. I mean, who doesn't want children to love and care for? Who doesn't want to carry on family legacies?

I also understand the negative impact of no procreation for society. But none of those reasons add up for me. 

A choice 22 years in the making

My decision has been 22 years in the making.

When I was about four, I saw an ad for World Vision on TV. Seeing those hungry and crying children moved me immensely. From then on, I remember talking about adopting a child from Canada or from one of the countries I saw on the TV ads.

In my late teens, I started contemplating whether or not I wanted biological children too. In young adulthood, I did question my stance from time to time. Was I being too steadfast in my decision? With my biological clock ticking, I wondered if I should take a beat and reconsider my position.

Was I trying to make a point about going against traditional social norms where women "fulfil their duty" by bearing and raising children, or did I really just not want biological children? Was I embracing a trend to be child-free by choice, just copying people who focus on their careers, travelling and other pursuits?

People sometimes ask me how my friends and family feel about my choice. My mom totally understands and respects my decision, although I know she yearns for another grandchild.

None of my friends, who range from 18 to 31, have biological children yet and most never will, they say. Their reasons range from focusing on careers to concerns about the environment to just not wanting any.

When I made the pledge in 2019 to never have biological children, I was 23. The planet is still in desperate need of intervention to heal itself and prevent further climate catastrophes.

I am three years older. I have realized life isn't so black and white. 

Am I 100 per cent sure that I do not want biological children? The answer is slightly complicated. Doubts creep in when I see my four-year-old nephew and two-year-old nieces, and hear their sweet giggles.

In those fleeting moments I reconsider my choice. But then I snap out of that fantasy and consider the option that has always been on my table: adoption.

There are so many children around the world who need homes, aren't there? And there are lots of us, those who won't choose the biological route, who want to be parents.

We always hear how the adoption process is hard, which can seem very daunting. But it is worth it, especially for people who are choosing or cannot have biological children of their own.

So whether I choose to adopt, as a single parent or with a partner, I hope that one day I will be lucky enough to hear my child call me "mom."

As I pin my newly cut green felt circle on my lapel, I still feel a bit torn in my choice to not have children. I wonder if anything will be done about this environmental catastrophe humans are facing. 

And if something impactful is done, will it be too late for me to have biological children of my own?

About the creators

Writer Michaela Keegan (she/her) is a poet from Winnipeg, Manitoba. When she's not overcoming writer's block you can often find her roller-skating.

Artist Jo Turner is a Winnipeg-based illustrator with a career in community building, the arts and intercultural communications. She specializes in illustration for editorial, surface pattern and children's literature. 

CBC Creator Network is a national storytelling initiative that amplifies the voices, unique perspectives and stories of diverse creators across Canada. We work with emerging storytellers to help produce original content including short films, social videos, photo series, personal essays, audio essays, illustrations, and animation.

Check out Creator Network Manitoba projects here.