Why some people risk their lives for others and what it says about them

Across Canada on Nov. 11, people commemorated the sacrifice our veterans made.

There is something powerful about remembering someone's selfless action to protect our freedom. And yet, have we ever stopped to ask why some people are able to make that choice, to risk their lives for ours? What drives someone to be so selfless? 

It's actually a fascinating topic. I've been researching the impact of altruism on our well-being for years, but costly altruism is different — they are the soldiers who go into battle to protect our freedom, our firefighters who jump into burning buildings. Their altruism could cost them their lives.

Researchers wanted to better understand what moves people to take on this level of risk. Was it because it caused them personal distress to see people get hurt, or are they innately empathetic? The study learned that empathic concern is what motivates costly altruism, 

One study had a group of subjects take a paid survey to earn $20. They were told to pretend to cause harm to people — the people were actors and they would fake being hurt when the subjects pressed a button. If the person didn't press the button they would lose their $20.

The people with high levels of costly altruism lost their money. Those who went through with it and pressed the button kept the $20 even if they felt personal distress when someone was hurt. 

I want to be clear: It doesn't mean you're not a good person or altruistic if you don't want to make a choice that potentially risks your life. There are other aspects that play into a decision, like being engaged in purpose-driven work and being part of a team, that can deter someone from heading into an individual active role or jump into a burning house. But it does take an extraordinary person to make that kind of sacrifice for us. 

Moral obligation to help

According to scientists, another reason why some people are drawn to altruism is that they have a personality characteristic called "other-oriented empathy."

People who score highly on this personality dimension have a strong sense of social responsibility, empathize with and feel emotionally tied to those in need, understand the problems the victim is experiencing, and have a heightened sense of moral obligation to be helpful. 

You hear in the news about people who may be quiet, solitary, desk-bound workers by day but dive in front of a train to rescue someone who's fallen on the tracks. Does that mean they fall into that group of people who are costly altruistic? 

The answer is yes and no. Theorists believe that altruism is deeply embedded in our genes because it was a benefit to our survival. So, when a person is confronted with an urgent moment like that, it causes them to react. 

According to evolutionary psychology, because of reciprocal altruism we are all better off in the long run if we help one another. If helping someone now increases the chances that you will be helped later, then your overall chances of survival are increased. 

And if a rescuer jumps in front of the train before someone else does, it may be that they have a long genetic lineage of costly altruism in their family history — dating way back to early civilization.

Are selfless acts truly selfless? 

There is quite a bit of controversy about whether people are actually altruistic for their own benefits. 

Some of you will recall the Friends episode where Phoebe wants to prove to Joey that she can perform a purely selfless act. But despite her attempts to be selfless, good things keep boomeranging back on her. One example: she allows a bee to sting her so the bee could look cool in front of its bee friends. But afterward Joey tells her the altruistic act likely killed the bee. 

Research shows that when we do something kind for someone else, the overall benefit from that positive action can last 3.5 times longer than if we simply did something for ourselves. This may lead to altruism for selfish goals, but it's important to recognize that — while helpers may derive a personal reward by helping another — the help that was given did also benefit someone who was in need. 

We don't all need to perform costly altruism 

Not all of us will go into volunteer firefighting or enlist in the army, but we can do our part by practicing altruism in our communities. We can start by honouring veterans throughout the year and beyond Remembrance Day. 

Additionally, we should honour our firefighters and first responders and people who put themselves at risk for us. Right now, that means anyone on the front lines of COVID-19 including our healthcare and essential workers. They are risking themselves right now, too, with added exposure to the virus. 

We can also tactically improve our altruism by small acts of kindness. It can start by volunteering a few hours a month. We can donate time or money to a cause. Try buying a coffee for someone behind you in line at Starbucks or Tim Hortons every so often if you can afford to. Even behind your mask, smile at a stranger. 

Thank the staff in retail stores for their service. If you're frustrated that you can't find the tile cleaner or the paper towels, remember that this person may be grieving a loss or has struggled to find child care before showing up to work that morning. We don't know what other people are dealing with. This week in particular, they may have been reliving memories of war, pain and trauma. 

We build our altruism through gratitude and empathy. We demonstrate altruism as a way to truly honour our veterans. We do this to remind them that the people they went to war to protect were worth their sacrifice.