5 tips to beat bedtime monsters tormenting your child

The decorations are down, the costumes are packed away, but for some children, the Halloween monsters are far from gone.

From the toddler years to elementary age, some children can't go a night without some kind of monster intervention. What's a parent to do?

The key is to stay calm and take their fears seriously, without crossing the line into overindulgence.

Let them know it's okay to feel scared — everyone does at some point — but that they can overcome it.

It's like an adult who is afraid of snakes reminding themselves that snakes don't live in Waterloo Region. Many of us have fears. Learning how to deal with them is the key.

Fears change with age

For toddlers, monsters usually appear when the child's imagination is developing rapidly. Suddenly comprehending the world in a new way, these youngsters are more aware of their environment, but don't yet understand what is happening around them.

Preschool is the peak time for nightmares, as children gain more abstract thinking. Left alone with their imaginations at night, they can often be terrified of what emerges.  This is exacerbated by the fact many can't yet fully distinguish reality from imagination.

In elementary school, childhood fears often morph into real-world — albeit highly unlikely— concerns. These can be triggered by things in the news, like terrorism or crime.

How to deal with them depends on your child's age and reasoning ability. 

A study conducted by researchers from Tel Aviv University in 2012 showed that children with persistent nighttime fears are even less able to distinguish reality from fantasy. The younger the child, the worse this is.

Coping mechanisms 

Good options for parents of toddlers and preschoolers:

• Make up a game about the monster. 
• Imagine it being funny or silly. 
• Write it a letter asking to be friends. 
• Get some books that feature friendly monsters.
• Give your child a "huggy puppy" who is sad, and ask your child to be the puppy's friend, care for it, and make sure it's not afraid at night. 

When children are a bit older, they benefit more from the "it's not real" line of reasoning, according to a 2009 study out of University of California Davis.

When faced with something scary, the researchers found seven-year-olds felt better by reminding themselves of what's real, and what's not. 

Good options for parents of elementary-age children:

• Try to find, and address, the underlying cause.
• Let them know it's okay to feel scared, but that they can overcome it.
• Answer their questions, respect their fears, but don't overindulge them
• As they get older, transition into coping skills, like deep breathing and positive thinking.