How to raise an Olympic athlete? 'Follow your child's lead. They have to want it,' says hockey parent

Jennifer Harris and Mario Maltais of Burlington, Ont., first saw their daughter Emma Maltais pick up a hockey stick when she was a toddler.

Now, 22-year-old Emma is representing Canada as part of the women's team at the Olympics — something Harris and Maltais never imagined would happen.

"She started pretty early," said Mario. "[We] made an ice rink in the backyard, and she was like only two and a half or three when she first skated, and [her older brother] Matthew put her in the net with a rubber puck and they were playing in this little patch of ice."

This month, Emma is with the Canadian women's national hockey team in Beijing. The team beat Switzerland 12-1 Wednesday in its first game — and Harris said she's still wrapping her brain around the idea. 

"We never dreamed she would be going to this Olympics, like never in a million years," she told CBC Hamilton. "I don't know if Emma thought she would, either. I think we're all still a bit shocked."

As they prepare to watch the next game, against Finland on Friday night, Harris said the support from the Burlington community has been "absolutely unbelievable."

The family is mostly watching from home, with friends joining Friday evening, but a small group has organized a viewing party at a local sports bar for the game against the U.S. this Monday.

"If ever we're in the gold medal, [that group will organize] a big gathering," she said. 

A long journey 

Harris said even though her daughter was skating at a young age, she later discovered her passion for hockey.

"She was at the gymnastics club here in Burlington," said Harris, "and she was doing recreational gymnastics [at 3 years old] and the recreational people said, 'Oh, this kid is good … you should try her in the competitive program.'"

However, life had other plans for Emma, and when she went to the competitive tryouts, she was cut. 

They thought hockey might be a fun change and they signed her up for that sport instead. 

"A month later, the gymnastics club came back to me and said, 'We made a mistake,' and I said, 'It's too late now. We just enrolled her in hockey' and [it's been] hockey ever since."

Harris also said it's been "a long journey" for her daughter to get where she is now. 

"There's been lots of amazing, wonderful things," Harris said, "but there's been some hardships and difficult times also and, as she got at the higher level, she put more and more pressure on herself and wanted it more and more."

Mario said that as Emma advanced in her hockey career, she started comparing herself with the other players. 

"All of a sudden [she compares herself] to the other girls and said, 'How come they picked her and didn't pick me,' right? So you cannot control that, that stuff. You can just control what you can do on the ice."

Even during those times, however, Harris made sure to comfort her daughter.

"[Emma and I] have a tattoo," she said. "It's a symbol that means 'everything happens for a reason,' and we both have the tattoo in the same spot because I truly believe that … and she's [there] now, so it's incredible."

From local rollerblading to Olympic hockey

For the family of fellow hockey player Renata Fast, this is the second time seeing her compete at the Olympics, but the excitement has not dissipated.

"It's probably more exciting than the first time," said Renata's father, Douglas Fast. "[Now] that we understand the whole process better and we understand how hard it is to be there, like how difficult it is to achieve a position, so we're really enthused and taken back, really, of her success."

Coming from a family where no one skated, Renata's mother Sharon said her daughter developed a love for hockey with their neighbour's help. 

"She started a little bit later than most girls … her best friend, who lives down the street from us, she was playing hockey and her dad was coaching … and she had found [her older sibling's] rollerblades in the garage, and she put them on and skated around," Sharon recalls.  

Douglas said that from an early age, Renata, now 27, had a "sports character to her like we've never seen before."

"We introduced all our children to every activity there was, every sport, and they all pursued the things that they like to do," he said. "In Renata's case, we introduced her to all the various sports, and to think that that would result in, you know, this Olympian emerging, that's a surprise." 

Like Emma's family, Renata's supporters will be watching from Burlington. 

"We're going to be staying up late or getting up early to watch all the games live," said Sharon. "Our children will all come and we'll all watch together."

Advice for parents of future Olympians

As advice for parents of young children who hope to be competitive athletes one day, Harris said the best practice is to let the child pave their own path. 

"Follow your child's lead, because we've seen many kids over the years stop playing and the pressure from parents, and it has to be in your child to want to go to this next level. They have to really want it — can't come from you." 

Douglas shared that sentiment, and said it made a difference that Renata was the one who chose to play hockey.

"We only support, we never pushed, and it was always Renata who was the one pushing herself, and I think that makes a big difference when she's doing it because she wants to do it."