Big city, few LGBTQ spaces: New groups aim to fill a need for community in Hamilton

In about six years living in Hamilton, Sarah Barnhart had only attended a few LGBTQ events — and none specifically for women.

In a city with few overtly gay businesses and bars, she'd gotten used to finding community in other ways, such as at the queer-focused exercise class she teaches for Goodbodyfeel studio, which these days, happens online. 

Barnhart didn't realize how much she was craving deeper connections with her community until a recent trip to Montreal, where she attended a patio night for queer women — one of the first gatherings she'd been to in ages, thanks to COVID-19.

"There was something about seeing people out being their true selves, and everyone showing up and walking around and introducing themselves and becoming part of the community," said Barnhart, 43. "You know those moments where you... feel like things have changed for you? That event was it for me.

"I stopped and thought, 'Hamilton doesn't have this and needs to have this right now.'"

After speaking with the organizers of the Montreal event — Salade de Fruits — Barnhart decided to launch a local version. Fruit Salad's first Hamilton event, a patio night for 2SLGBTQIA+ women and allies, will be held at Side Door Bar (1831 Main St. W.) on Aug. 28 at 8 p.m. 

"I didn't know how much I needed to show up at a queer event and it be a queer event until I had," she said. "Hamilton has a lot of queer people and nobody really has anywhere to go."

Few LGBTQ spaces left

Hamilton's downtown included several gay bars, including the Embassy and the Werx, until the mid-2000s. The Steel Lounge, an LGBTQ+ pub at Ferguson Avenue North and King William Street, opened in 2014 but closed after two years.

Pub nights, such as those run by Queer Outta Hamilton, helped fill the void, as did Adam and Steve's drag shows. Tracie's Place and Sous Bas are among a few local bars that aren't explicitly for queer-identifying people, but popular within the sections of the community. 

Then COVID-19 put an end to most in-person socializing. 

"The way I had experienced [the local queer scene] prior to COVID, it was more catered to men and hard partying," said Barnhart. "That wasn't the vibe that I was wanting to be in, as much as I enjoyed it when I was younger. There wasn't really anything for women or gender non-conforming folks."

She says Fruit Salad is being held in Ainslie Wood in the city's west end, purposely away from the hustle and bustle, to create a safe space for attendees. "We're not going to have it in Hess Village, you know?"

Music at the August event will come from DJ Donna Lovejoy, while Sahra Soudi is lined up to DJ the second event, planned for Sept. 18.

Barnhart said it was important to her to make it clear that Fruit Salad is focused on building community among women and people who aren't cisgendered men. Its Eventbrite listing says "male allies and cis men are welcome, but be aware of the purpose of the space and your privileges."

She says that stems from times where she's felt on display for her sexuality.

"We aren't a show for men to watch," she added. "We aren't there for the male gaze."

'An open space to chill out and feel comfortable'

Another option for community in a low-pressure setting is Hamilton Queer Hangs, a monthly park meetup hosted by Addison Brash. Brash, who identifies as a non-binary lesbian, said they have seen an uptick in people around them "recognizing and learning their own sexuality and gender expression," while queer-centred spaces in Hamilton seem fewer every year.

"All of these people who are coming to terms with this aren't going to have a space to go to after the world opens up," Brash told CBC Hamilton on Monday.

Brash said online communities that have formed over the past year are great, but nothing compares to an in-person hangout.  

"It probably leads to less… depression and anxiety about being yourself."

The next meetup takes place at Gage Park from 6 to 9 p.m. on Sept. 19.

"I schedule a date, a place, and provide COVID-friendly snacks and some blankets," Brash said. "It's just an open space to chill out and feel comfortable."