I'm a napper — and proud to call myself one

This First Person column is written by Jordan Kawchuk, who lives in Duncan, B.C. For more information about First Person stories, see the FAQ.

My former wife used to tease me that "naps were for the weak." 

I've come to believe that she secretly wanted a Home Depot-type handy husband who built decks and stained cabinetry all weekend — but that was not me. The only hammer I've held is a whack-a-mole mallet at the Calgary Stampede. So it's no surprise I'd frustrate her when, instead of dreaming up home repairs, I'd be dreaming in our bed, napping like a nana every Saturday afternoon. 

And then again on Sunday. 

My name is Jordan Kawchuk and I am a lifelong napper. 

I've always felt guilty about this. A sense of shame would inevitably bond with the disorientation that followed a nap. I'd feel weak for being horizontal while the rest of the world moved forward, wide awake and alive.

A lifetime ago, I lived in Brazil for a year and was enchanted by the cultural practice there of eating and resting. At noon, people would typically come home from work and school to share an elaborate meal and then retire to bed for lengthy siestas to rejuvenate for the long, scorching afternoon. They would then return to work or school in the cooler evening.

Now ain't that civilized. 

This ritual fit me like a Brazilian Speedo. 

I'm a chronic crummy sleeper. These days, I average a chintzy five hours, and without fail, pop up like a wide-eyed weasel at exactly 4.30 a.m. This takes its toll, especially when studies show that getting six hours of sleep a night might be just as bad as getting no sleep at all.

If you think I'm missing some bedtime secret (less screen time before bed, no eating after dinner, accept some self-love), believe me — I've tried it all. 

That would include three sleep clinic assessments and seven different sleep prescriptions since high school. Medical pillows, firm mattresses, melatonin. Apnea machines, meditation, exercise. Cool temperatures, new jammies, separate beds. Cutting out caffeine. Listening to rain sounds and Lana Del Rey. 

It's simple. I nap because I have to. 

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A daily nap gives me a shot at seeing things through. A reboot out of crankiness and a turn to see the world through a new lens. A nap restores my mind, body and spirit. 

I shout at cars before my nap, but after a rest I let every giant truck into my lane with a smile and a cartoony salute. Before a nap, I say things like: "Why did you do that!" But after a snooze, I say: "Honey, let me do that for you." 

Pre-nap is all rain clouds. Post-nap is a sun-shower of sundae toppings. When day-rested, I'm just a better person. 

Today, napping is more widely accepted for mental health benefits and workday reinvigoration — a far cry from the sleep machismo (those who sleep less are deemed stronger and more masculine than those who obtain a decent sleep each night). It's a phenomenon that's continued in our culture since the Industrial Revolution never to show fatigue.

For every tough guy who says "I'll sleep when I'm dead," I say "I'll nap when I need to" and I look forward to outliving you.

WATCH | How brain function is affected by sleeping for shorter times at night: 

New sleep study examines how brains function on less sleep

1 year ago

Duration 1:59

A new sleep study in the journal Neuroscience looked at how brain function is affected by sleeping for shorter times at night and suggested there was slightly lower cognitive function across the board for people who sleep less than six hours each night. 

Snoozing with the sun up does have its benefits — and its drawbacks. I won't bore you with data and circadian rhythm blather from the countless articles I've collected over the years. Only to say that napping will give you a little boost, but it does not count as tacked-on time to your night's sleep. Just as a midnight snack doesn't count as part of your dinner, six hours earlier. 

Despite the lazy optics of daytime lie-downs, napping shares many benefits with meditation and we come out the other end with a decent burst of vitality. That, and some fantastic matted hair.

Winston Churchill never missed his daily nap, even when at war. NBA teams regularly recuperate at 3 p.m. with pre-game group sleeps. Astronauts nap. So did Aristotle, Einstein and Muhammad Ali. Napping pods used to be a curiosity, but more and more companies offer restorative getaways for overworked employees.

Napping is OK. It wasn't any one big moment that helped me realize that but with age and self-acceptance, I've come to peace with this. 

Sadly, like sleeping, I don't triumph at napping either — which is a real kick in the pyjama bottoms. I'll often crawl to my bed mid-afternoon, weighed down by crushing fatigue, only to toss, curse and eventually give up, accepting my fate as a zombie for the day.

But when naps happen, the slumber is golden. 

My partner, Stephanie, is a napper, too. Forget hikes, dinner dates and paddle boarding — my favourite thing in the world is closing our door, climbing into bed together and picking up our books for a few blurry pages. 

With the sunlight spray-painting our bedroom yellow, I'll wake up an hour later, Stephanie still peacefully breathing in and out. And everything feels all right again, as we rise, slip back into jeans and face the rest of our Saturday in a bright, hopeful mood.

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