Ukraine-born nurse studying in Calgary says her heart is in her homeland
Bow Valley College student hopes international allies stop the war
She should be there, in Kyiv.
And if life hadn't led Oksana Oliynyk from her Ukraine homeland to Calgary last spring, she says she would be working at the cardiac hospital in the Ukrainian capital alongside her colleagues and friends.
"I feel really guilty," said the 27-year-old nurse who is upgrading her education at Bow Valley College on a student visa. "But I understand my life is here right now."
As Russian troops attack her country, Oliynyk waits for the global community to somehow stop the bloodshed and to hear from friends who remain in Kyiv. Occasionally, she receives a one or two-word text from a friend reassuring her that they're "OK."
But a few days ago, more than a week into the invasion of Ukraine, Oliynyk finally got a call from her best friend, Olya, who is at the Medical Centre for Pediatric Cardiology and Cardio Surgery for Adults in Kyiv, where they both worked.
"I almost cried," Oliynyk said. "I was really glad to hear her voice, but on the other side, the stories she told me — it was horrible."
WATCH | Oliynyk speaks with CBC Calgary News at 6
The pain of knowing what her fellow Ukrainians are enduring is intensified by the physical distance between them, leaving Oliynyk to offer support from afar. And it doesn't seem to be nearly enough.
"I don't feel good that I'm here in Calgary, honestly," she said. "I am really proud of her and really worried, and I'm thinking, 'Why am I not there to support her?'"
The sleepless nights and the heaviness of futility are shared by many Ukrainians across this province, said Orysia Boychuk, president of the Ukrainian Canadian Congress – Alberta Provincial Council.
"It's been very stressful, challenging and emotional — people's hearts are extremely broken right now," Boychuk said.
"I have a cousin who is leaving Ukraine with two young children. You feel helpless, like you just want to save them and you are just far away and want to do more. You are constantly by the phone and waiting to hear the next update."
Ukraine is Oliynyk's homeland, but she feels a deep connection to Alberta as well.
Born with a hole in her heart when life-saving medical intervention was unavailable in Ukraine, Oliynyk travelled to Alberta for treatment as a child.
A Calgary nurse volunteering with Medical Mercy Canada spearheaded the effort to get her to Calgary. A surgeon operated pro bono, and strangers donated to fund other costs.
She has made return visits to Canada over the years, most recently to upgrade her studies.
She knows what it is to rely on the compassion of others. And she knows what it is to be saved.
Now, she prays NATO will show Ukraine similar goodwill, which, the way she sees it, means closing the airspace over her homeland.
While many Ukrainians are crammed into bunkers, taking precarious refuge in underground metro stations or fleeing the country, Oliynyk's friends and former coworkers are steadfast in their intention to stay at the hospital.
She said the sound of constant gunfire outside sent staff and patients to seek safety in the basement until extreme cold forced them to return to windowless rooms upstairs.
With the number of surgical nurses down to four from 12 after several left as the war began, the staff is being forced to triage patients at the hospital, which is now surrounded by the Ukrainian military, Oliynyk said.
"They sleep in the corridors by the operating rooms on the floor, I think," Oliynyk said. "I know all of them. One of the doctors brought his cat with him because he couldn't leave it without food, and another brought their dog."
While Oliynyk grapples with having to support fellow Ukrainians from afar, joining humanitarian aid fundraisers and speaking out, she said her friend in Kyiv is torn between doing her job and being with her mother, who is home alone in the city, terrified and facing dwindling food supplies.
Oliynyk is devastated by the horror of it all but proud of the resilience of her fellow Ukrainians.
She said Ukrainians are fighting but they need help. And she prays the global community will deliver measures that will save lives and her country. For now, she watches helplessly as Ukrainians battle back against Russian troops and waits for updates from her friend.
"Every time we talk to each other, our last words are, 'I love you,'" Oliynyk said.