Greeting card line starts a conversation about LGBTQ holiday anxiety over family acceptance
'Something you wouldn’t see at Hallmark,' card-maker Levin Ifko says
Levin Ifko noticed there was something missing from the greeting card section in many grocery and drugstores.
"It was mostly after a realization that cards like this don't really exist," the 18-year-old transgender person told CBC News.
"You just don't see cards like this that are affirming that work for queer and trans folks."
So Ifko set out to fill a need they saw. Ifko uses the pronoun 'they.'
During the past six months, Ifko has made more than 100 cards featuring messages like "This world needs you," "I support you, You are loved," and "The holiday season is yours too."
"Something you wouldn't see at Hallmark," they said, with a laugh.
Ifko says the holidays can be a really hard time for queer and trans people, in part because some families are not welcoming.
"The holidays are sometimes kind of stressful, because you don't know where other people are coming from. I do definitely experience stress during the holidays," Ifko said.
"I have been lucky with my family, they have been pretty supportive."
But Ifko says many other trans people do not experience that.
"They might remember you a certain way from when you were a kid, and you might identify differently now. You might have changed your name and pronouns.
"It's hard a lot of times for families to recognize that, especially if you have a really big family."
Holidays can bring stress, discomfort
A Calgary psychologist who works with LGBTQ youth says there are a lot of unhappy people during the Christmas season.
"We say the holidays are the most magical time of the year and what we see for a lot of LGBTQ people is that the holidays can bring with them a lot of stress, a lot of discomfort," Ashleigh Yule said.
"A lot of clients I work with are struggling with family issues or sometimes deep sadness and depression that gets triggered around this time of year."
Yule says while there has been progress, some people do not have welcoming families.
"I work with quite of few people who experience family rejection because of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression, so that can create a lot of feelings of sadness. It's almost a reminder of what warm, family feelings that they might be missing and the support that they don't have from their family," she said.
Be aware of language
The registered psychologist says there are lots of ways trans youth can be made to feel accepted.
"Being aware of language, so not making assumptions about, 'do you have a girlfriend?' but to say something more inclusive like, 'are you dating anybody' or 'do you have a partner?'"
And practicing the use of the person's preferred pronoun in advance can be helpful.
In some cases, trans and queer youth are thrown out of their homes when they come out, she said.
"I have a number of youth who are homeless. They are trying to navigate the holidays, figuring out where they are going to stay and mourning that their family has rejected them."
A crisis phone line for trans people gets more calls during the holidays than at other times during the year.
"It is pretty busy," Jessica Oros at Trans Lifeline told CBC News.
The agency sees spikes in the number of calls as the holiday season approaches. Calls are ranked by five categories of severity; more severe cases also go up this time of year, Oros added.
But Calgary Pride made efforts to counter that this year by throwing a Christmas party Thursday night.
"We only marketed the event two weeks ago and we had more than 300 register," Laurissa Chapple said, calling the first A Queerly Festive Dinner & Show a big success.
"This time of year can be really difficult. Many members of our community are displaced, so this provides us an opportunity to ensure that those people don't feel left out in the cold. We can celebrate being a family whether or not we are blood-related."
No one-size-fits-all approach
The specialty trans greeting card market is booming, which seems to indicate there is a need, Ifko says.
"I've recently got a lot of really big orders, which is really nice," they said.
"I also do cards when some trans people start hormones, not all trans people do but a lot of trans people do. If people change their name, I have a card that says 'I love your new name,' as a really nice affirmation in a way."
Those needing help can contact Trans Lifeline at 1-877-330-6366 or online.
With files from CBC's Evelyne Asselin and James Young