An Indian Calgarian high school teacher conquers uncertainty by embracing the light at the end of the tunnel

May is Asian Heritage Month and to celebrate, CBC Calgary is featuring Calgarians and what it means to be Asian Canadian in 2021. This First Person piece was written by Bhupinderjit Kaur Chana, a high school teacher in Calgary. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see the FAQ.

When I look back on this year, I feel a lot of uncertainty.

Right now, the story of my life is writing itself. Living in a constant state of unknown — I was unsure about job security, on top of wedding planning.

The gyms would open and then close. I was in and out of quarantine. I would rush to catch up on errands as soon as I was out of quarantine because I never knew when the next one would happen.

I felt like life was like sand slipping through my fingers and falling into a pile that describes how my time has been justified during the pandemic. I always tell my family and friends that we are going to have a wicked story to tell in a couple of years, even though it sucks right now.

Being a first-generation Indo-Canadian, it's been challenging to find a balance between respecting the culture but also breaking barriers to be part of this Canadian society.- Bhupinderjit Kaur Chana

I have been a victim and a witness of race-based harassment a few times, however, the one that stands out to me the most is someone referring to me as a terrorist because they could not pronounce my first name.

This one, in particular, took me by shock, I never thought I would be considered a terrorist because of my name. My name is Bhupinderjit (Ba-pin-der-jeet), it was selected based on holy scriptures after I was born. In our culture, we select names after birth. 

Growing up, my name posed challenges, it was long and many would mispronounce it. Often, when I introduce myself, people would ask me for a nickname alternative and/or the meaning of my name.

Today, many people know me as Bhu, this name represents my Indo-Canadian Identity. Being a first-generation Indo-Canadian, it's been challenging to find a balance between respecting the culture but also breaking barriers to be part of this Canadian society. 

Post-secondary education meant a lot to me, I was the first female university graduate in my family. Therefore, when I started university, I started introducing myself as "Hi, my name is Bhupinderjit, but you can call me 'Bhu.'" I feel that the name Bhu reflects my roots but also the identity I built for myself as an Indo-Canadian.

I believe that beauty lies within our differences; how would you notice yourself if you didn't expose yourself to diversity? If we all were the same, where would the inspiration lie? I encourage people to submerge themselves within the food, experiences, language, and art. Cultures are the colour on our canvas, the aromas on our palettes, it is the beauty in our world.

My pandemic engagement

During the pandemic, we got engaged. This time last year we were thinking we would have been seeing the light at the end of this 'COVID tunnel.'

We planned our wedding for the summer of 2021, but as restrictions tighten, that is far from reality.

Our families have multiple wedding traditions that span over five to seven days. The pandemic has forced us to be innovative and rethink how these traditions will look.

However, whenever I feel gloomy. I look to the sun and the light. Sunshine gives me hope. The warming effects of the rays are comforting.

The sun has seen it all on this world, the good, and bad. It's seen disasters and healing. It is the reason we appreciate the good times, because, without darkness, there is no light. Likewise, this adversity will bring us good times. 

Follow #ProudlyAsianCanadian on Instagram for content throughout the month.