Q&A: What does gender mean to you?

Vancouver is celebrating Pride week, and so is CBC. Gloria Macarenko, host of On the Coast, spoke with three people⁠ — all of whom live outside conventional gender norms⁠ — about what the concept of gender means to each of them.

Cicely-Belle Blain, a diversity consultant, and one of the founders of Black Lives Matter Vancouver, identifies as non-binary and uses the pronouns 'they' and 'their.' The term non-binary represents a spectrum of identities that are neither exclusively masculine nor exclusively feminine‍.

Romeo Reyes, an actor and tattoo artist, is a transgender man and uses the pronouns 'he' and 'him.'

Raven John, an Indigenous artist and activist, as well as a cultural consultant, identifies as two-spirit⁠ — using any of the pronouns 'he,' 'she' or 'they.' The term two-spirit refers to a person who identifies as having both a feminine and masculine spirit. It has traditionally been used by some Indigenous people to describe their spiritual, sexual or gender identity.

Cicely, what does gender mean to you?

Blain: Gender is about expression. I think for me especially, gender is about a connection to my ancestors. I think sometimes we have this perception that gender nonconformity is a new thing. But really, it's something that's been existing on earth for thousands of years. Many different cultures we see before Western colonization were exploring gender nonconformity in different ways. So for me, it's really about going back to that and thinking about some of the things that have been stripped from humanity through different forms of violence.

Where do you see this moment in LGBTQ history?

Blain: I think this is a really transformative and pivotal time because we're starting to see a recognition of some of the activists who've traditionally been on the margins finally having their voices heard in ways that they weren't before. As an activist from Black Lives Matter, we've spent the last four years really advocating for greater inclusion within Pride and specifically around the removal of police from Pride. So it is really great to see some of those changes actually showing up now and finally having our voices heard. 

Romeo, why is it important for you to be open about your experience as a transgender man?

Reyes: To be honest, when I was really little, I did not see gender. I would run around in my toddler skirt, but topless. My parents would laugh at me. But I just didn't understand why they'd say, 'Girls can't be topless like boys can.' It was unfair to me. And in media, women were always portrayed as weaker and always needed a prince or a hero. I wanted to be the hero. I wanted to be the prince.

What was the turning point for you in terms accepting and feeling free to be yourself?

Reyes: I was around four years old. It just clicked in my head: when I'm a bit older ... I'm going to have a sex change. I'm going to do this. I'm gonna be a musician. I'm going to serenade the ladies. 

Raven, you've had similar experiences?

John: Definitely. When I was quite young, I had a very similar experience where I saw my reflection in a rainy window and suddenly I [thought] ... am I a boy or girl? I asked my mom and she's like, 'You're a girl.' I thought ...why would I have to just be a boy or a girl? And I've always felt that way. I find that everyone exists on a spectrum.

Romeo, what would be your advice for cisgender people (a person whose gender and perception of identity corresponds with their birth sex) who want to be better allies?

Reyes: I've had cisgender people ask me, 'How can I be more mindful?' I think cisgender people should definitely befriend a trans person or a non binary person.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Listen to the full interview here: