Recovering addicts face tough choices on New Year's Eve

New Year's Eve has a reputation for being a boozy holiday, so what do you do when addiction recovery means you can't drink?

Registered clinical counsellor Dawn Schooler, owner of Jericho Counselling in Vancouver, says many of her clients find that a challenging question. Even if they are committed to sobriety, they may be invited to join friends and family at events where there will be alcohol.

"We find people struggling if they're going to make family and these sorts of celebrations a priority or if they're going to be able to keep their sobriety as a priority, because often they have to almost choose between those two," she said.

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"This is what we hear clients struggling with, saying, 'what will I do if I show up and everybody's sloshed? Or if I get triggered because the sound of ice going into a cocktail glass is one of my favourite sounds before I stopped drinking?'"

Schooler says some recovering alcoholics face being ostracized from old friend groups or are pressured to come into potentially triggering situations that can get them off the wagon.

"There's a ton of anxiety that gets created for folks who have to decide to be fun and go along with things or set a boundary."

Good allies, good hosts can help

Addiction counselling is highly individualized, but Schooler says she often tells clients to consider bringing an "ally" with them to parties where there will be drinking.

The ally is someone supportive of their sobriety who is like a "wingman" and willing to leave with the alcoholic if things get to be too much. She also says if an a potential ally is already at the party, they can make for a good person to hang out with.

Vancouver etiquette coach Margaret Page says there are things party hosts can do if they want to include non-drinking friends at a party where others might be drinking.

"Hosts should make sure they have a variety of suitable beverages," she said, suggesting non-alcoholic beer and wine along with juice and soda.

"When they arrive … that's when you have the opportunity for the first time to ask them, 'what can I get you for a beverage?' And then just state what you have available to make it easy for them because they may not be aware you have that range."

Consider going dry yourself

But Schooler says the best thing that can be done is to host an alcohol-free event.

"The one, two, five people in your circle in who might be uncomfortable … they can come and it's totally safe. I think it's a lovely way to ring in the new year. And you really know who your people are."

Both she and Page agree that guests should never encourage a recovering alcoholic to "just have one," and if a host sees that behaviour, it should be discouraged.