Drop the armour, ditch the mask to help boys achieve emotional health, says author

Boys need tools to deal with emotions — and burying feelings in video games is not enough.

That's the opinion of a former teacher who has written a book on how to raise boys adept in the emotional realm.

Michael Reist says that if we want to raise emotionally healthy boys, we need to teach boys how to deal with their emotions at a young age.

Reist is speaking in Vancouver on Tuesday about his new book, Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys, at an event put on by the Big Brothers of Greater Vancouver.

"If there's one issue for men, it's dealing with their emotions. Men are not trained to deal with their emotions, they're emotionally blocked and it starts in boyhood," Reist said.

"We talk about physical health, we talk about mental health, we don't talk a lot about emotional health."

Reist says that young boys feel the pressure of complying with societal norms, beginning in primary school.

"School says sit down, be quiet and do what you're told and a a lot of boys find this very difficult," Reist told Rick Cluff on The Early Edition.

Once puberty hits, boys begin to feel the need to act masculine, he said.

"Girls are allowed to cry, girls are encouraged to express their emotions. There's a whole kind of popular culture image of the expressive girl," he said.

"The culture tell boys to toughen up. They put on this cool suit of armour, they put on the mask and all emotions go underground."

This is why many boys escape into video games and develop addiction issues at a young age, Reist explains.

"Boys are channeling a lot of their emotional energy into unproductive areas."

Men need to 'step up'

Reist says that boys need male father figures in their lives now more than ever and it's up to the men in their lives to step into that role.

"There's still some need in the male psyche for that kind of positive male role model to show them what's next as they move along the developmental continuum," Reist said.

"We're living in a time right now where men need to redefine their role within the family."

And while Reist understands that not all families have two parents in the home, he encourages teachers and extended family members to become surrogate male role models.

"Men need to step up and change the conversation," he said.

"We need more men with a broader range of emotional expression."

With files from The Early Edition