Children's book about kayak journey to see whales seeks to help kids demystify death and grieving

Death is a mystery in our culture, says B.C. author and poet Kirsten Pendreigh.

Her new book, Maybe A Whale, seeks to help children understand that mystery and support them through grief.

The story, complete with full-page watercolour illustrations, follows a child and her mother on a journey after the loss of a grandfather. They "drive for days" — as the young character puts it in the book — and then rent a kayak, pack their items in dry bags, and set out on a kayaking adventure. 

The mother hopes they'll see whales. But the child, who narrates the story, is sad and disinterested because the wrong adult is taking her. She wishes her grandpa were there because he's the one who always talked about whales, and he's the one who said he'd take her to see them.

"Mom says the trip will do us good," the child says. "I don't think she's right. Grandpa won't be there."

Pendreigh spoke to North by Northwest's Margaret Gallagher about the intent of her book, set for release in August.

Moving through anger

Death is "very final for some people," says Pendreigh, who lives in Vancouver.

"Depending on your family, sometimes you don't talk about it, and I think kids can understand a lot more than we give them credit for, and what I hope with this book is that kids can talk about their own loss, how they feel about it and what they think would be things that would make them move through it."

During the trip, the mother and child connect with each other and the natural environment. It's a process that Pendreigh hopes other kids who've known loss can also experience.

"Being in nature is such a powerful tool for our mental health. Not every kid reading the book can go on a kayak trip, but if they could go in the park and see the leaves changing, watch birds nesting, just feeling that they're part of nature, we are part of this natural world and nature does love us."

Pendreigh says she finds healing in nature herself and writes her books at a window desk, overlooking local hummingbirds and chickadees. She is a former CBC and NPR journalist, and Maybe A Whale, illustrated by Crystal Smith, is her second children's book. Her first book, Luna's Green Pet, is about a young girl who circumvents her landlord's strict no-pets policy, rescues a house plant and raises it as her pet.

Shifting colours

As the mother and child grieve and heal, the illustrations shift in tone. 

"The colours change," Pendreigh says. 

"They become more vibrant, and the little girl starts to move through that anger and resentment and starts to engage with her mom again."

During the journey, the child looks for whales, only to finally hear humpbacks in the dark of night, breathing in the bay.

Maybe A Whale, says Pendreigh, is based on her own experiences. At a time when Pendreigh herself was going through difficulty, she went on a kayak trip on the north end of Vancouver Island, near Telegraph Cove, B.C.

"We had not a very good day paddling, battling winds and finally, we settled for the night, hadn't seen much," she said.

But, at night, sleeping in her tent by the ocean, she heard the iconic, swishy sound of whales blowing air from the water.

"It was weirdly emotional. I started to cry. I started to just feel these connections with loved ones that I've lost, and I don't understand why that happened," Pendreigh says.

"But I just thought, 'There's a metaphor here' … so I wanted to share that experience. It was really powerful."