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Comedy·WHY NOT

Woman says 'f*ck it', goes as sexual intercourse for Halloween

After several months of deliberation, Amanda Riesling, 24, has decided that this year she will make the leap and go as sexual intercourse for Halloween.
Alessandra Vite · CBC Comedy ·
(Shutterstock / Dean Drobot)

After several months of deliberation, Amanda Riesling, 24, has decided that this year she will make the leap and go as sexual intercourse for Halloween.

"The answer was so obvious, but also, not," said Riesling as she made the final touches on the labia minora detail of her costume. "I've been a sexy witch, a sexy dog, a sexy firefighter, even a sexy knapsack. But then it hit me, what's sexier than actual sex? Turns out, nothing."

Trend forecaster Jenna Bevers explains, "With New Year's Eve being overhyped and overwhelming, Halloween has unofficially become the holiday where everyone feels the need to find someone to kiss by midnight. While adding the word 'sexy' to any profession has long been the M.O. for many women's costumes, women are more in charge of their sexuality now. Going out for Halloween as a literal penis in a vagina is very 2017."

Ms. Riesling continues, "I just thought, I wanna look real cute, but also, I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. If I were a sexy nurse for Halloween, maybe the guy I hook up with would think I'm into taking care of him, which, NO THANK YOU! Being 'sexual intercourse' was the only way to go. Plus, I just dyed my hair pastel pink, which really helps with the the clitoris part of my costume."

While other costume trends for 2017 include Pennywise the Clown and "Baywatch Babe", "Sexual Intercourse" is picking up momentum.

Daryn Freeman from Party City Discount Store elaborates, "There are a few different options this year. We have the 'Penis Into Vagina' costume, 'Vagina on Vagina' and 'Vagina with Hand'. We used to have a 'Penis with Condom Into Vagina' costume, but a bunch of men complained, saying it didn't feel as comfortable, so we took the condom detail off."

Regardless of how Ms. Riesling celebrates this Halloween, she says she's thrilled with her choice of costume. Despite the popularity of the "sexual intercourse" getup, she does hope she's seen as unique.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Alessandra Vite

Alessandra Vite began studying improv at age fourteen at The Second City and is a graduate of the The Second City’s Conservatory Program. She has performed with The Second City Touring Company, and is the current Head Writer and performer of the Comedy Bar produced show "Sunday Night Live with The Sketchersons." Alessandra is also a contributor for the websites The Beaverton, CBC Comedy and CBC Radio's "Because News".