The LCBO is going to sell weed! 7 other cool things the LCBO could make extremely uncool
The LCBO has been selected by the Ontario government to be the sole legal distributor of dank kush when cannabis becomes legalized in 2019.
Pot will soon join booze as yet another of life's coolest things now under provincial government control. Yup, boring old people in suits want to sell weed to your mom. UGH. At least you'll be able to talk openly at the office about how you got high as balls on the weekend and not have to end up in a meeting with HR.
The LCBO will generate millions in tax revenue from both online sales and brick-and-mortar government weed stores. But why stop there? It could also start selling other cool things and rack in millions more in impulse spending from stoners. Here are just a few ideas.
1. Longboards
If you rode a longboard today, you probably got high today. Prove me wrong.
2. Gibson Flying V Electric Guitars
You know those cool guitars from '80s hair metal videos? They're completely impractical – dare I say gauche – but that doesn't matter because once you buy one, it will sit in the corner of your living room gathering dust while you whisper to yourself, "Someday".
3. 3D puzzles
Remember those stacks of dumb 2D puzzles at your grandparents' house? BORING! The future is here and so are 3D puzzles. Pack a fat bowl and build a tiny Taj Mahal, brah.
4. Burritos
This is the most nutritionally complete and ergonomically efficient food on earth. Did you know one burrito contains more than enough food to satisfy your munchies? You can't argue with science.
5. Fidget Spinners
They aren't just for kids. These soothing gyros are fun for the whole family, especially for your dad who really underestimated how much stronger pot has become since college and now huddles in the fetal position on the sofa.
6. Apples
A Granny Smith can be fashioned into a pipe in a pinch, and then eaten shortly after. It's the bread bowl of weed.
7. Mason jars
Nothing says you are "cannoisseur" like a bunch different strains of pot neatly divided into mason jars. They are also great for drinking your homemade kombucha tea in public.
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