Superhero dating profiles

The Marvel Cinematic Universe has officially made all the money in the world twice. This idea of superhero fatigue that people have been tossing around for 15 years, waiting for this "fad" to go away, even though it concerns characters that have existed since your grandparents were children, is done.

Time to embrace superhero culture and look up the people who save the world on your favorite dating app. Time to date a hero. Or a villain. No judgment.

Aquaman, 39

About Arthur Curry:
Do you like long walks on the beach? Boating? Water slides? What about baths? Or just puddles? I'm down for all of that and I know over 100 ways to prepare lobster. I like to stay in shape and also drink like a fish! That joke is funnier if you know me. Hoping to find a lady who's cool with the fact that I don't own a lot of shirts.

Beast, 31

About Hank McCoy:
A lot of my days are spent in a lab figuring out cures to supervillain plagues or making weapons to stop giant robots. What I really want is someone I can just talk to, who gets that there's more to me than just an unparalleled scientific mind, and who's okay with helping me apply my monthly flea treatment. I like an independent woman with a good head on her shoulders who likes dogs. You really need to like dogs.

Thanos, 1,000

About the Mad Titan:
It is only through balancing the scales of the universe that peace and prosperity may ever be attained. While you may seek romantic dinners and flowers, I seek to bring mercy to all life in the Universe. To that end, you will be required to pay for half of our dinner regardless of whether I order a more expensive entrée!

The Joker, 35

About The Joker:
I'm looking for a girl who likes a good laugh. A real screamer! My idea of a fun Saturday night is knocking over a bank and maybe setting an orphanage of fire before trying to kill an idiot dressed like a giant bat. Or maybe Chinese food and a walk by the river. I need an independent sort of gal who knows how to gut a man with a dessert spoon and is okay if I don't call for a few years while I'm stuck in a straitjacket.

Wolverine, 75

About James Howlett:
Not a big people-person, prefer to be mostly alone so I can think and drink and maybe stab stuff. Looking for someone cool with me drinking and thinking and maybe stabbing stuff, but in a heroic way. I'm ex-military and haven't been formally diagnosed with PTSD but let's be real. I have a tendency to befriend young girls. Again, in a heroic way.

Black Widow, 33

About Natasha Romanoff:
Don't let the name fool you: I've never been married or widowed. I mean, it's likely that any husband I would have had would be dead by now, but this is a site for looking toward tomorrow, not yesterday. I'm looking for a partner who can handle me working long hours saving the world even though it seems like I never get credit or any real featured role for doing so.  I like intelligent men with a strong side; prefer you don't have anger issues.

Captain America, 98

About Cap:
I'm a 6'2" all-American Super Soldier who spent a few years frozen in ice around the Second World War and was thawed out in time to watch my would-be girlfriend die of old age. I'm looking to get back on the dating scene and also not die at the hands of alien scourges. Not sure how I feel about this internet thing. Was catfished twice already by Ultron.

Dr. Doom, 40

About Victor Von Doom:
Evil doctor seeking evil nurse or other evil health care professional. I knew evil was my calling from a young age as my last name is actually "Von Doom." Looking for a woman comfortable with casual evil on a Friday night or planning long-term evil over the course of many years brooding in my kingdom of Latveria. Must hate Fantastic Four which, if you've seen the movies, you do.

Wonder Woman, ageless

About Diana:
This is my first time trying this out. I dated in the past but he blew himself up. Looking for someone willing to blow himself up but hopefully not actually going to blow himself up. Also needs to be comfortable with the fact I work with a lot of aggressive alpha-male types.

Groot, variable age

About Groot:
I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.

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