Neil deGrasse Tyson lurks outside theatres to tell audiences there's no such thing as 'Spider-Men'

TORONTO, ON—During a recent visit to the city, noted astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson stopped by Scotiabank Theatre on Richmond Street to inform patrons exiting screenings of the new film Spider-Man: Homecoming that there is no such thing as "spider-men", as well as other scientific inaccuracies in the superhero blockbuster.

"As an astrophysicist, it just bothers me that Hollywood expects us to accept things like high-schoolers who are given superpowers from radioactive spiders. Come on," said Tyson, as he peered down a hallway to see if the movie had finished.

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"With the lack of science education in schools, many people get their information from movies and TV. So I feel it's my job to highlight when movies get things wrong, like hearing sound in space, or talking raccoons," said Tyson.

Was that the Cosmos guy yelling at us?

"Oh, here they come."

As delighted movie-goers streamed by, Tyson began his lecture.

"Spider-men aren't real! The Vulture's wingspan could never support those kinds of manoeuvres!"

Some moviegoers seemed confused.

"Was that the Cosmos guy yelling at us?" one woman was overheard asking.

Many were excited to see Dr. Tyson, at least at first. Andre Laverty, 11, approached the rockstar-astrophysicist in his Spider-Man costume to tell him that he had made "science cool." Tyson seemed touched.

"Thank you, young man. That's the greatest compliment you could ever give me," Tyson said. "Did you enjoy the movie?"

When the young man said that he did, Tyson laughed in his face.  

"A bite from this theoretical radioactive spider would contain between .00003 and .000003 millisieverts, the same as a banana," Tyson howled. "Does everyone who eats a banana turn into Banana-Man?!"

"I guess not," young Laverty quietly responded, before walking away.

"Also, movies are just a series of still images played in quick succession," Tyson called out. "It's a trick! They want us to believe those images are actually moving!"

By this time, everyone had exited the theatre and Dr. Tyson was left standing alone.

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