OP-ED: Everyone parents differently, but only I do it right

Breastfeeding or bottle-feeding? Sleep-training or co-sleeping? Daycare or nanny? In this landscape of endless childcare options, we really need to stop judging each other. Frankly, it's taking way too much energy away from what's really important: acknowledging and congratulating me for parenting correctly at all times.

Parenthood is a bumpy journey. And whether you hit your stride as a parent during infancy or not until the toddler years, don't lose perspective on the fact that my perfect track record as a parent began during pregnancy.

There's criticism and controversy surrounding the epidural. For some women, it's important to reduce pain during childbirth for whatever reason. For others, childbirth is your first opportunity to put your child's well-being ahead of your own fleeting comfort, prove yourself as a mother, and actually have an authentic birth experience rather than one tainted by pharmaceuticals that will later prevent you from accurately remembering the most beautiful moment of your entire life. That's what I did. That second thing, the one that's better. Every woman needs to do what's right for her. And we all need to ease up about it.

After a child turns about a year old, many mothers have a crucial decision to make: stay at home, wasting the entirety of your education while modelling for your kid that women's only purpose on the earth is to cater to their children — or go back to work like an enlightened human being who actually wants to contribute to society and isn't inexplicably stuck in 1964. Both paths are valid. Both paths are valuable. Say it with me slowly: WE NEED TO LET EACH WOMAN DECIDE FOR HERSELF. We need to arm her with the empirical facts on each side, just as I'm doing here, and then we need to back off and trust she's more than capable of taking it from there.

Decisions, decisions! Should you put your child in private school, ensuring his evolution into a tiny, entitled asshole unable to relate to anyone who doesn't own five glass-bottom yachts? Or is free, egalitarian public school I send my children to clearly the superior option? Pssst. Lean in real close and I'll let you in on a little secret: you can't make a wrong decision. He's going to turn out just fine either way, as long as you follow every aspect of my example literally down to the exact brand of organic pear juice I buy for my child. It's only available at this one specific outdoor Mennonite market that's a three-hour drive outside of the city but it's worth it, because frankly if I feed my kid the poison they sell in grocery stores he won't have the brain cells to make it into the French immersion program every child needs to be a complete person. DO WHAT'S BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY!

It's normal to feel uncertain in the face of such incessant judgment from other parents. But every decision always comes back to what your particular child's needs happen to be. So your eight-year-old wants an iPhone. Well, is your particular eight-year-old mature enough to use it responsibly? Or is she not quite there yet in her development? Either way, it's an absolutely surefire way to destroy a child's social skills, but as her mother, you need to base your decision on the child in front of you, not some abstract ideal.

Listen, as long as you're feeding, clothing, and loving your kid, he'll totally be okay. Go easy on yourself. Lighten up. In the moments you feel uncertain, it's totally okay to just throw your hands up and go, "Ah well, what are you gonna do?!!!"

I'm glad you asked, and I'll tell you what you're gonna do: the thing I did.

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