Funny Stuff

Pregnant woman experiences craving for strangers to mind own business

Paloma Sullivan, who is expecting a baby in February, reports this week that she’s been experiencing a strong and unrelenting craving for everyone she comes into contact with to mind their own business and stop with the unsolicited advice, belly-touching, and opinions about her birthing plan.
(Shutterstock / fizkes)

CALGARY, AB—Paloma Sullivan, who is expecting her second baby in February, reports this week that she's been experiencing a strong and unrelenting craving for everyone she comes into contact with to mind their own business and stop with the unsolicited advice, belly-touching, and opinions about her birthing plan.

"It's such a random craving," she laughs. "Normally I'd never feel the urge for people to mind their own business. Not that I hated it when they did — I just always felt kind of whatever about it."

Sullivan reports that on the train this morning, 68 different people gasped and ran their hands all over her baby bump, 127 people asked in unison whether she's planning on a home birth, and all 127 winced judgmentally, also in unison, when she told them she'd be opting for "the greatest amount of drugs legally allowed to be placed inside my body."

Another 43 strangers demanded to know whether she was planning on breastfeeding, and an additional 12 asked her which of her own parents' failings she was most fearful of repeating with her own child. Right before she exited the train, a group of six people asked her to write a 40-page paper justifying her decision to go back to work and put her kid in daycare.

"I woke my husband up at like 4 am last night because the cravings were so strong," Sullivan says. "He's such a sweetheart. He got up in the middle of the night and went out in a rainstorm to go get me a bunch of people who could mind their own business."

Sullivan's husband Eric returned 20 minutes later with some casual work acquaintances who successfully congratulated Sullivan on her pregnancy and simply left it at that.

"Oh god, those first few people," Sullivan says, her eyes rolling back into her head as waves of pleasure crashed over her. "I savoured every single one."

Giving birth sucks and lets all commiserate instead of giving unsolicited advice:

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