Naming my Wifi network 'BitchHedberg' and other things I regret after AirBnB-ing my apartment

1.

Well, I mean, naming my Wifi network "BitchHedberg"

2.

Making my Wifi password "NailedItNailedThisPassword"

3.

The large quilt I handmade and hung on the wall depicting the steps necessary for proper execution of The Macarena

4.

Sewing a tiny, but extremely long, leather biker vest for my ferret, but not so much THAT as the garbage can stuffed with the first 49 attempts at the vest, each of which went horribly awry

5.

Blowing up Milton Berle's obituary to 125-point Comic Sans and taping it above my bed. What can I say, I miss that guy!

6.

The four friends who came over one night about two weeks ago and got into SUCH AN INTENSE game of Twister that I've allowed them to live here permanently until they finish their game. Should only be a few more weeks.

7.

Dedicating an entire floor-to-ceiling bookshelf to the "For Dummies" series

8.

My novelty fire alarm that alerts you to danger with an mp3 of me shouting over and over and over "HASHTAG OH SHIT"

9.

A bidet in every room seemed wise at the time. You just never know!

10.

YES I have two pairs of sneakers by the front door and thirteen different pairs of stilts. I'M SORRY. THAT'S MY LIFESTYLE. 

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