Comedy·COOKING

MAJOR BLUNDER: Cooking show contestant puts entire can of Zoodles in microwave

HOST #1: One of them the judges was on fire for a moment. It was pretty quickly put out by our expert crew, but, major yikes. HOST #2: You hate to see that.
(Shutterstock / Jaroslav74)

As many of you are aware, on a recent episode of the hit competitive cooking show The Cut, a leading contestant effectively eliminated herself from contention with a rookie mistake — namely, placing an entire unopened can of Zoodles in the microwave for warming. For those who weren't watching, here follows a transcript of the immediate aftermath.

HOST #1: This can't be good.

HOST #2: There are Zoodles everywhere.

HOST #1: There's microwave everywhere, Gene.

HOST #2: You've gotta think she knows better. This was a brain cramp, plain and simple. And those will happen, even to the best, but they'll also cost you.

HOST #1: Absolutely. Not sure what she was thinking here. We've known since — what, the '70s at least — that this is bad form, that putting metal in the microwave is not gonna have good results. As a professional chef, it's probably one of the first things Susan Belman learned.

HOST #2: Let's go to Carla, who's with the contestant now.

INTERVIEWER: Susan, obviously we just saw a major explosion that wiped out your side of the kitchen, and perhaps your chances for victory along with it. What happened out there?

SUSAN: You know what, I had my mind on the lobster thermidor and the langoustines — obviously seafood is the focus of this dish — so I didn't focus on the Zoodles in the way I could have and that's on me. I let down my team.

HOST #1: Well, she takes the blame, and she's likely going to take the hit from the judges.

HOST #2: One of them was on fire for a moment. It was pretty quickly put out by our expert crew, but, major yikes.

HOST #1: You hate to see that.

HOST #2: In the end I think the main thing that's going to help her is if she can pull off the Zoodles ice cream she's going for later.

HOST #1: But I don't think that will help her.

HOST #2: No. Not only has no contestant in the history of our program ever successfully made ice cream —

HOST #1: Nobody.

HOST #2: — but I don't know why she keeps trying Zoodles. It's not a…

HOST #1: Conventional?

HOST #2: … it's not a conventional ingredient choice.

HOST #1: Not even really an ingredient at all.

HOST #2: No. No no. It's a finished dish and her insistence on working it into her presentation is befuddling at best.

HOST #1: Let's get back to the action. If I'm seeing correctly, they've replaced the microwave, giving all competitors a fresh chance to "nuke" a dish if it needs quick finishing.

HOST #2: And here we see Susan heading right back to it. I suppose she's learned her lesson now.

HOST #1: Going to soften the butter for the lobster, looks like.

HOST #2: Take it out of the package, Susan.

HOST #1: Take the butter out of the package.

HOST #2: Oh my god.

HOST #1: We'll be right back…

HOST #2: I think I just saw the end of the world.

HOST #1: … after this.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jeremy has been a staff writer for This Hour Has 22 Minutes, performed stand-up comedy at the Just For Laughs and Winnipeg Comedy Festivals, and co-created/stars in the popular video series The Urbane Explorer/Finding Bessarion. A 3x Canadian Comedy Award–winner and published humour columnist, he also wrote your favourite joke, the one about the fish trying to get a job at a bank.