Comedy·OBJECTIFICATION

Hot 24-year-old millennial would appreciate if you'd stop staring at her personal brand

Tokyo-Rose Levinson, podcast host, indie bookstore employee, and part-time emotional landscaper, wants you to know that her eyes are up here.
(Shutterstock / Look Studio)

MONTREAL, QC—Tokyo-Rose Levinson, podcast host, indie bookstore employee, and part-time emotional landscaper, wants you to know that her eyes are up here.

While walking to her artisanal Pilates class in her bohemian poncho and holding an organic Turkish coffee, Levinson sighs in her typically dramatic manner.

"I'll be talking to a guy at work, at a party – or sometimes a woman – and I can just tell he's not paying attention to anything I'm saying. His eyes start roaming all over the place. And it's so obvious that all he's doing during our conversation is mentally removing each layer of personal branding I've worked so hard to cultivate over these past few years."

"I really resent being objectified in this way," Levinson continues, her tattoo of Tolkien's map of Middle Earth peeking out from under her fair-trade infinity scarf. "It's particularly annoying when I'm at a networking event and all I want to do is make a few YouTube creators aware of my Insta feed so I can go home and binge-watch old episodes of Ally McBeal.

Christophe Schuster, 39, who works with Levinson at the bookstore, admits that while he tries his best to focus on the conversations he regularly has with Levinson, the sheer blinding effectiveness of her personal brand is at times extremely distracting.

"Look man, I'm human," Schuster shrugs in the tiny staff kitchen where he rinses Levinson's coffee mug depicting a vintage typewriter in a field of wildflowers. "Tokyo just has a really nice set of priorities. Of course I've noticed them. How could I not?"

Levinson says that people gawk intrusively at her personal brand so frequently, she's considered exercising more modesty when she's out and about in public.

"I shouldn't have to do this," she exclaims, "but you know, I could maybe cover up my utter disdain for the Helvetica font, and not walk around with that on display as much as I have been doing. I could play down the fact that I have a banjo lesson in an hour. I suppose I don't always have to advertise that to everyone on the street. It only ever leads to unwanted attention."

At press time, Levinson's bangs needed a trim but she was very late for a modern dance exhibit taking place in an abandoned mason jar factory, so the haircut would just have to wait.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sophie Kohn

Writer/Producer

Sophie Kohn is writer and producer with CBC Comedy, a stand-up comedian in Toronto, and a graduate of Second City's Conservatory program.