Elementary school math problems for tiny feminists

The square of the hypotenuse may be equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides, but are women are equal to men? Here are five word problems to help elementary school students brush up on their math skills and fundamental human decency!

Question 1:

Joan's car travels from her corner office at the bank to her son's preschool at a speed of 50 kilometres per hour. She then travels from her son's preschool to the playground at a speed of 40 kilometres per hour. Finally, she travels from the playground to the mountain of dishes waiting for her at home at a speed of 45 kilometres per hour. What is Joan's average driving speed? Show your unpaid work.

Question 2:

Lauren is walking down the street alone on her way to a party. If her radius of personal space is six feet in all directions, making the diameter of her personal space 12 feet (D=Rx2), why can't anyone working for SkyWayPlus Contracting respect that?

Question 3:

Cassandra is in a meeting at work. If she voices an idea to the group at 55 decibels, at a rate of 150 words per minute, and Lester is scrolling through Instagram on his phone while she's talking, at what decibel-level will he loudly charm the room with the very same idea Cassandra just pitched? BONUS QUESTION: At what rate of speed will he gladly accept all credit for the idea?

Question 4:

Erica and Ned have the same level of education and both work full-time at an insurance company. If Erica earns 78 cents for every dollar Ned earns, how much harder will Erica have to work for the rest of her natural life in order to financially catch up to Ned? Answer worth 10 points if you're male, 8 if you're female.

Question 5:

Sofia, an Olympic volleyball player and seven-time gold medalist, joins a friendly beach volleyball game while on vacation at a Caribbean resort. Jeff, a sedentary, unemployed "social media expert" also joins the game just as Sofia is setting up her serve. If Sofia takes 14 seconds to just breathe, focus, and get into position properly, how many nanoseconds (where 1 second = 1000000000 nanoseconds) before Jeff mansplains a volleyball serve in order to "help" her out?

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