Comedy·STOP

Annoying friend asked to please make no more than 3.14159 Pi Day jokes

Kevin Eldrich, the former math major and friend of Andrew, Karen, and Colin, is extremely excited that today (March 14th) is Pi Day.

WATERLOO, ON—According to multiple reports, Kevin Eldrich, the former math major and friend of Andrew, Karen, and Colin, is extremely excited that today is Pi Day. And that's fine. But according to several other verified reports from the friend group, due to incidents in previous years he has been asked to set an absolute limit and make no more than 3.14159 jokes about Pi Day this year.

"I don't want to hold the guy back," said Karen, "it's just like, yeah, we get it. I'll give him a few. And then I guess .14159 of one? I'm not sure what that would be, I guess that's probably a pun. Probably that one about liking pi more than cake. No, I'm not going to say it."

"At least it's just one day a year," said Andrew, remaining philosophical.

"It's like not that with his Monty Python quotes. 'Yes, Kevin, we are all the Knights who say Ni. Yes, Kevin, that is just a flesh wound. Haha. Yep. And yes, I do remember The Philosophers' Drinking Song. Believe it or not, the fact that I'm not singing it every single second of the day is not something I fear is proof that I don't know it, though I see that you do have that fear."

"So anyway the jokes are almost a relief after that," concluded Andrew.

"Even the one about the official animal of Pi Day. No, I'm not going to tell it. Sorry, what were we talking about?"

Reached for comment, Kevin's third friend Colin said that "the most delicious pi is blueberry, because when you think about it —" before this reporter actually just had to go.

At press time, Kevin was trying to leave "pi" as a tip after they all got lunch together, if you can believe it, and the sad thing is that I know you can.

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