5 ways to simulate that perfect beach selfie without ever leaving your house

Summer is finally here, and with it comes the expectation that you'll post some amazing photos when you're by the seashore. As humans, we desire the comments and "likes" that come with a beach selfie, as equally and oppositely as we desire never to leave the perfect sanctum that is our living space.

Luckily for us all, I've developed five foolproof techniques to achieve that flawless beach selfie without ever having to leave the comfort of home! I've even included suggested captions! Skeptical? Sea for yourself.

1. Use beachy props

Many people think a visible skyline is necessary to communicate oceantide fun, but that's simply not true. Instead, frame your upper half with an umbrella! Make sure your bathing-suited shoulders are visible to really keep the illusion going.

2. Have beachy accessories

No one goes to the beach without something to place between themselves and the disgusting sand. For this technique, place a lamp directly behind your head — switched on, of course — and pose on a patterned towel. Take the photo really, really close to your face, so that it appears that the warm light of the sun is surrounding you, instead of the true darkness you'd feel if you actually had to leave the house.

3. Make beachy facial expressions

The most challenging part of being at the beach is that once you've arrived, it's a whole bunch of lying around doing nothing — which you could be doing inside anyway. This is where marine enthusiasts manufacture minor drama in order to make their selfies more interesting. My approach was to use blush to pretend I had a mild sunburn! But you can really make up any backstory, as long as you accompany it with a quirky facial expression.

4. Pose with beachy companions

The best kind of water vessel is a Friend Ship. Use vaguely nautical DVD covers and creative cropping to convince your followers you have unattainably beautiful pals who love to kick it seaside with you! When eager commenters ask where the two of you met, you can respond with, "Online, through a support group for people who find the outdoors only so-so, and the indoors truly great."

5. Emulate beachy topography

Who says selfies have to be of the face? Beachgoers are zealots when it comes to feet-in-the-sand photos. Thankfully, the solution is right at your fingertips! Simply grab some breadcrumbs, place them in a bowl, hover a peace sign over them, bend it at the knuckles, and voila! You've got two legs, and too many enthusiastic responses to your body positivity to count! The best part is you can be in your sweatpants the whole time.

So wave goodbye to waving goodbye to your front door, and trust that these methods are a shore thing!

Behind the scenes photos by Wendy Lees (Ciao Bella Photography).

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