I rely on support workers to help me live. I think I make their lives better too

This First Person article is the experience of Alex Lytwyn, who lives with cerebral palsy and is a disability advocate, writer and small business owner of Willpower Media. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see this FAQ. You can read more First Person articles here.

A friend, life coach and then a boss. This is the relationship between myself and those who work for me.

As someone who lives with a physical disability, relying on help is always going to be a constant. For my life to be as restriction-free as possible, I need to hire people. They're a definite need.

Sometimes, the need is so strong, it's hard to find enough workers for the job — meaning sometimes, I hire people who otherwise can't easily find a job.

Sometimes, I'm their first break.

I've worked with people who have had a rough childhood or have hung out with the so-called "wrong" crowd. I've worked with staff who recently found themselves homeless, just got out of rehab or dropped out of high school. Life has thrown them a lot of obstacles. 

When all is said and done, my life situation has improved because of them.- Alex Lytwyn

One day, one of my workers came in to help me, and they looked to be in very rough shape. Their skin was pale, eyes were sunken in, their skin was full of scratch marks and they were shaking.

I had to get to the bottom of the situation. I was hungry, thirsty and needed to use the washroom, but it was clear that before they could help me, I needed to help them.

I sat with them at the table. They then told me that they had not taken their medication for mental illness (which they had been taking every day for years.) for two days. Something had to be done ASAP.

Also, they had not eaten for two whole days. I gave them my soup and sandwich. After eating and drinking some water, I got them to make a doctor's appointment. Then we worked on their personal life "goal plan" — which they followed. Slowly, they got back on their feet.

Helping each other

Why do I hire these people? 

For one, these individuals are some of the most dedicated workers that I have ever had. Secondly, I feel everyone needs a chance to enhance their quality of life.

All that is needed to enhance their life is a small amount of encouragement to see that their lives are worthy. It is truly an honour and privilege to have these individuals walk up my ramp and through my door, to see that they belong and have a purpose.  

These individuals and I both have been down and out. By working with each other, our lives have become filled with positive possibilities.

It can be difficult at times, but also so rewarding seeing them succeed at a task. And when my helpers assist me in achieving a goal, seeing their reaction and happiness is just awesome.

People must be shown that they are cared about, no matter what limitations there are. 

For example, cerebral palsy has a tendency to "tease" the person afflicted. Having speech that is sometimes not so clear, combined with a thought process that is crystal clear, can be annoying.

If I take a deep breath and relax, this can go a long way in getting my thoughts understood. This is the same calmness that I work hard to bring to my workers.

Being empathetic can calm a stressful situation. By showing an interest in their lives, it reminds them that they have purpose and (hopefully) it gives them a sense of belonging.

No matter how long my workers — a.k.a. "my pair of helping hands" — stay with me, whether it's for a month or for many years, when all is said and done, my life situation has improved because of them. 

Most importantly, their souls, I hope, have become brighter, ignited with the feeling of belief in themselves.