Former victim of bullying wants Parkdale Park to be renamed in honour of Devan Selvey

Michael Rilstone remembers the first time he read about when Devan Selvey being killed behind a Hamilton high school on Oct. 7, 2019 — an apparent victim of bullying.

Rilstone, who is 70 years old, was also the victim of bullying decades ago. 

After all those years, reading about Selvey's death brought back "horrible" feelings, he said. It also spurred him to launch a petition to have the Hamilton city council rename Parkdale Park the Devan Selvey Memorial Park.

"Back in the early 1960s, I started at a new high school and I was immediately bullied," Rilstone said. "The similarity is incredible."

"It was horrible. In fact, I remember one teacher who bullied me too. It was horrible.

"I remember reading this story and I said, 'My God, this was me, this was me. I started a new school and look what happened.' I thought, this poor kid."

Rilstone said renaming Parkdale Park the Devan Selvey Memorial Park would both "memorialize Devan and create a community touchstone against bullying," 

He said it would also hold Selvey's name "high in perpetuity," and would be Hamilton's constant reminder to fight bullying, abuse and violence of all kinds.

"Every time an abuser of any kind passes by the Devan Selvey Memorial Park in the future, hopefully it will be a reminder to him or her what their attitude can lead to, especially if Hamilton, its schools, and Hamiltonians maintain an anti-bullying campaign encompassing Devan's memory," Rilstone said.

Mom supports initiative for Devan Selvey Memorial Park

Shari-Ann Sullivan Selvey says she fully supports the idea of a future Devan Selvey Memorial Park.

In fact, she hopes council will approve the proposal when it's presented.

"I think it's absolutely amazing. It's something that I was thinking of but didn't know how to go about it," Sullivan Selvey told CBC News.

"I'd really like it to be passed, and for it to become that, because Devan's friends still go there and a lot of kids hang out there. 

"If they do name it after Devan, then maybe it would encourage those kids to keep an eye out for other kids that are there, maybe younger kids so that everyone can play safely and just be a kid," she said.

Keep the lines of communication open

Sullivan Selvey is encouraging other parents to keep the lines of communication open, and not allow their children to go through anything alone.

"Pay attention to the changes in your child," she said. "If anyone knows their child more, it would be the parent."

"If you see changes, they may be subtle at first and then progress. Help your child work through those. Oftentimes, we have where a child has been bullied and then that child turns into a bully, and it's just a continuing cycle. Maybe if parents were more involved, maybe we could break that cycle."

Sullivan Selvey also encourages kids who are experiencing bullying to "speak up," but says she knows that can be hard.

"I'd really like to see them speak out more. If one person is not listening, keep going until you find that person that is willing to listen and help you," she said.

"There are a lot of anti-bullying groups now that they can search out, and there is always somebody willing to listen. There's always someone that's out there that will help. Whatever the case may be, if they feel unsafe, there is always someone that will be there to help them."

'It's named after the darn street'

Like Sullivan Selvey, Rilstone is hoping the city will accept the proposal when it comes before council.

"Right across from Devan's school is Parkdale Park, which is a redundant name because the street is Parkdale," Rilstone said. 

"It's not named after someone else where you've got to make these radical changes. It's named after the darn street … and it's right where [he was killed]."

In addition to renaming the park, Rilstone hopes to maintain an anti-bullying campaign encompassing Devan's memory.

He said the campaign could include an annual tree-planting ceremony for 100 years on the anniversary date of Devan's murder.

"Each tree could have a small dated plaque. In that way, long after everyone in Hamilton today is gone, our fight to curb bullying will be remembered. Devan's spirit will live like a perpetual flame against hate and violence," he said.

"We will also suggest a quiet area in the Devan Selvey Memorial Park be maintained where people can go, sit, and calmly discuss the bullying, abuse, violence and hate that is so pervasive in society. Every hater taught to change their ways to a person of kindness could forever change a victim's life.

"Hamilton could raise the bar for all cities and towns to show that, listen guys, we've gotta stop this bullying or at least try to curb it," Rilstone said. "I'm no psychologist. I'm no expert. All I know is for me, it comes from having been bullied. The solution, I don't know … but everything has a solution or at least ways to improve. I think, after a kid has been killed like this, hey, let's improve things."