TORONTO, ON—During a visit to Toronto this week, Darren Prang and Kyla Liret of London, Ontario, found themselves in a truly unexpected situation.

"We were totally confused," recalled Prang. "We were having a fun night out in Toronto, and somehow we got lost and ended up in what I can only describe as a post-apocalyptic hellscape."

After a pleasant evening downtown, the couple chose to wander over to see the CN Tower, before taking a wrong turn and ending up in the mayhem.

"It was total anarchy," said Kyla. "People were throwing things, everyone was screaming, and a bunch of people were riding these souped up dirt bikes around giant bonfires while howling like ravenous wolves."

"Honestly, it was a lot like we were inside one of the Mad Max movies," added Prang.

​Darren and Kyla were stunned to learn that they had not wandered into some kind of barren, lawless wasteland but were actually inside the upper deck of the Rogers Centre during the Blue Jays' home opener against the Milwaukee Brewers.

"There were all these roaming men in the crowd wearing these revealing outfits fashioned from studded leather straps, holding up giant axes, and screaming 'Anarchy!" remembered Kyla. "I was pretty surprised to learn that we were actually in the crowd of a baseball game. Isn't that sport supposed to be low key?"

Prang admits he even got a little carried away himself.

"I might have helped throw that burning Pizza Pizza booth onto the field in the top of the 6th," confessed Prang, sheepishly. "What can I say? It was an infectious energy."

The Blue Jays have announced that they do intend to beef up security, and are already in the process of hiring more diminutive, overwhelmed teens in windbreakers to nervously ask fans if they mind keeping it down a bit.