OTTAWA, ON—This week, Conservative Party candidate Kellie Leitch announced that regarding her proposed Canadian values test that potential immigrants would have to pass before being allowed into Canada, she will be accepting American values at par with Canadian ones.

"We, as Canadians, would like to keep our country great," explained Leitch in a really weird video, "and this means we must make sure all immigrants are just like us Canadians, by which I mean they love apple pie, baseball, and xenophobia."

Up until several months ago, American values had been at a near all-time high, allowing for the legalization of gay marriage, the country's first African-American president, and large expansion of health insurance availability. However, the recent election of a sexist bigot exposed the true base values held by many Americans, resulting in Muslim bans and a sharp increase in hate crimes.

True Canadian values, on the other hand, are still at an all-time high with our vocally feminist prime minister and Canadians' commitment to Syrian refugee sponsorship. For this reason, a one-to-one value exchange rate at this point seems strange to most analysts.

"While Canadian values are far from perfect — just look at how we treat our First Nations people — a policy that seems to equate them with American ones just doesn't make sense," said one researcher. "I mean, not even a mention of hockey or maple syrup on this test of what Canadians care about? That seems weird, right?"

The Canadian values test would also involve checking immigrants' social media to see if their views are consistent with national values — something that American border patrol guards have been doing in order to prevent people from entering their own country.

"You know what they say!" said Leitch. "If you're acting like a US border patrol guard you know you're doing something right."