WASHINGTON, D.C.—Just a week ago, President Donald Trump was constantly tweeting every single thought that entered his head, however selfish or hateful it might be. He hasn't gotten any attention for saying something truly outrageous and inflammatory in a few days, however, and now the entire country is reportedly terrified of what he might be cooking up.

"Oh man, I was so tired of this guy. I thought, can't we focus on something else?" said Anne Miller, 48, of Eugene, Oregon. "I was actually pretty ecstatic when the Oscars came along. Finally, something else to focus on. I actually forgot about Trump for a day or two. Which made me think—oh my god, how did he make use of that for evil??"

Says Ted Allen of Asheville, North Carolina, "I don't go on Twitter much, but I'm made to understand he's been pretty quiet. Now this president, if he stopped saying awful things for a few days, that only means he's now saying them to someone else. Where is he saying them and what are they and what effect might they have on my life???"

Some anonymous sources who were annoyed at Trump tweeting openly about issues of national security were now frustrated that he had done few tweets in the last few days, and they often seemed to take a more formal tone, perhaps vetted by his staff.

"No!" said one unnamed Republican. "Please don't stop him from saying what he wants to say! I thought I wanted him to do that, but then I realized I just wanted what he wants to say to be nicer and better. If it's still not, I need to know! I gotta know what crummy stuff he really feels, not what nice stuff his assistant feels!"

"Yes, I wanted him to be quiet," she added, "But not eerily quiet! That's so eerie!"

At press time, even Hillary Clinton was hoping Trump would open his big mouth again.