WASHINGTON, DC—Donald Trump secured himself from the flow of intelligence this week by constructing a wall around the oval office.

The wall, which is made entirely out of executive orders, is ten feet tall and five feet deep, and is meant to keep out briefers from the CIA, NSA, and other intelligence agencies.

"They are criminals, and rapists. Some of them I'm sure are good people. But mostly not," Trump said of the men and women in the intelligence community who are trying their best to keep America safe.

Trump had claimed the wall would be paid for by the intelligence agencies themselves, although now he says they will reimburse him for it. "We will not reimburse him for it," assures NSA director Reginald Smalls.

The wall has also been terribly ineffective at keeping out intelligence personnel, as it, by necessity, does not span the entire perimeter of the office.

"There's still a whole big part with no wall," says CIA agent Sara O'Malley. "So I just go in there."

Any information that does get through is quickly deported, as Trump remains committed to keeping out anything that could give him a more accurate view of the world.

In addition to building the wall, he's banned any books, memos or written information of any kind from entering his workspace.

"He's pretty strict about this. He won't even allow written things that definitely won't teach him anything, like shirts with words on them, or takeout menus," says head secretary Nancy Slocumb.

Despite the wall's failure, Trump stands by his decision, saying, "Remember when Ronald Reagan asked Gorbachev to tear down that wall and Gorbachev was like 'No way, Jose!'? Well, he's Russian, so you know he was right.